Under Attack
by intrinsicmotivation
Summary: Vivian finds herself in a fearful situation when she discovers that someone whom she has long ignored, whose name she has tried to forget, is stalking her...and she is haunted by him wherever she goes...erm...rawr. Written for NaNoWrimo 2006.
1. Hotel Fahr Outpost

Chapter 1: Untitled

Written by LynxRunner/GoldYoshi/dasgas2, can only be posted here, my site, and sites that I myself post it on. Plot Copyright (Real Name hee) 2006-2007, Vivian, Doopliss, Koopas, and other characters are owned by Nintendo and it's subsidiaries. I do not own those characters.

A frosty wind rips through the snow-covered land, leaving me with a chill dashing violently through my spine. Being a mage of Fire, I wasn't exactly comfortable with these cool surroundings. Everything required a sacrifice…but at least I was safe from him.

I turn around, accidentally whipping a few people who were accumulating around me with my scarf, and try to see the Blue Bomb leading the horde. He was standing next to a pedestal with a miniature, non-working version of a cannon perched on it. The walking Bomb was explaining with a thick Russian Accent about who first made 'the Great Fahr Ourpost Cannon':

"…vas a very determined man. Worked very hard for days and nights to fulfill vat many called ze impossible dream. But at last, General Koniek made it! A huge cannon, it vas. Could launch people from one end of ze land to another. Very useful. He used it to defend us from ze attacks of ze X-Nauts! Zose aliens ver very tricky. Came from underground to attack us! Big booms scared people in ze night!" Some specially hired Clefts in the cloud of people started Oooooh-ing and Aaaah-ing. Most of the real tourists looked at the rock monsters skeptically, but they were persuaded to hum monosyllable sounds of suspense to help along the story.

Pleased at seeing the Bomb had the attention of everyone, he resumed. "So, General Koniek knew zat he could shoot the Lunar Base of the invaders, but he could also risk blowing up ze moon! If he did, zen it would not have been a good situation. Big chunks of moon fly towards us. Anozer peril was that the X-Nauts…take control of ze cannon! If zat happened, then all hope vould be lost! The X-Nauts did try to take control of ze cannons…"

The pause silenced the group. I tried to make sure I was protected by a shield of living beings, and was hard to spot, so that no certain person could find me. When my safety was assured, I started listening again.

"Before ze aliens attacked General Koniek, he gave the instructions for operating ze machine to his brother, General White. He also gave a good friend of his, Goldbob, the permit to legally use the machine. Without it, it vould be counted as…ze vandalism…or theft? Not specified. So, the X-Nauts killed General Koniek…" A large amount of gasps rippled through the crowd. "…But zey vere unable to operate the cannon! With Goldbob's Permit and General White's instructions, zey vere able to use ze Cannon to destroy ze Lunar Base! The X-Nauts were without a base, so zey had to leave."

The Clefts started cheering, but no one joined in with them, so they silenced themselves. The tour guide nodded respectfully towards them, and started.

"Since that time, the Cannon was kept hidden from ze rest of the world, known only to Bob-Ombs and to zose vith too much free time and a lot of interest in zis place. It has been used once, however, as an Emergency Case, to save not just Fahr Outpost in this case, but ze world!" he exclaimed. This actually got a few people buzzing, some swallowed the whole bait, others were cynical of it. I believed it…I was one of the people who used the cannon to save the world, after all. I traveled with Mario, to the moon, to stop the X-Nauts.

"The famous Plumber, Mario, and his comrades were the ones who dared to embark on zis quest. Traveling through space, on to the moon vith no oxygen…living through that time, I zought that zey vould not live. But zey did."

"And what is the proof?" barked a Bub-Ulb next to me. He seemed very annoyed to be here and was wearing various scarves around the stem that rose out of his head and into a flower, and actually looked paler than most of the plant-animal hybrids usually did.

"The proof," I spat right back, "Is that we are alive right now. Do you remember the rise of the Shadow Queen?"

Silence settled on the audience. I probably attracted some stares and attention because I myself was a Shadow Siren, but this guy needed to learn to be a little more accepting.

"The leader of the X-Nauts at that time, Grodus, planned to kill Mario and his partners and take his Crystal Stars to revive the Queen. Had this trip not happened, or failed, Grodus probably would have gotten the Crystal Stars, awakened the Shadow Queen, and killed us all. The fact that Mario made it, and…destroyed the Spirit Form of the Shadow Queen."

"O-o-or at least interrupted i-i-its powers," spoke out a small Koopa. "The Spirit of something…c-can't be killed. Its powers, however, can be stopped. The Sh-sh-shadow Queen is powerless right now. She isn't exactly in a position to be k-k-ki-killing people and m-m-m-making a new shadow world."

"Smart-ass," coughed the same Bub-Ulb, and I jabbed him with my elbow. He gave me an icy stare before asking me another question: "Alright, I don't believe much in this Shadow Queen crap. You're a Shadow Siren, so maybe they force you to believe this like they force Star Kids to accept that there are 'Seven Star Spirits'-" he snorted at this part "-but I don't buy that. Your story that this trip happened is that Mario made it, beat this guy, and then went and beat the Shadow Queen. How do we know there IS a Shadow Queen?"

"If I may," the tour guide interrupted. "I vas obviously alive during ze time, and I

can recall vat happened. An unnatural shadow was cast over ze land. It vas unnatural in zat it filled you vith panic, fear, irrationality, dark zoughts. There vas also little light. No flashlights vorked. Only the little light the Sun gave could save us. Please note zis vas in plain day, it vas not night, and not an eclipse. It vent on for hours upon ze hours…I assume zat beating a Sovereign of ze dark does not take ten minutes. Anyvays, zat Shadow is something only a very powerful and experienced Shadow Mage could do. Ve are talking about zis immense power, rivaling zat of ze Star Spirits."

"And if that is not enough proof for you," I said while facing the flower thing. "There were three and maybe a few more, but there are three confirmed witnesses. Admittedly, two of them were Shadow Sirens, but the third…" I gulped with a sense of fear as I said this. "He… was not. Well, technically, he was… part of the group, but they kind of fell…apart before seeing the Shadow Queen." I did not feel comfortable using him as the basis for my argument. However, on the bright side, the Bub-Ulb fell quiet, forced to eat his own words.

"Vell," the blue Bob-Omb interrupted, if I may, I vould like to say zat up to now, other zan zose two cases, zere has been no need for ze cannon. Nowadays, ve still do not allow people near it, but ve are more villing to tell people about it, ja. So, zank you for coming on zis tour viz us! Ve even got to see an interesting debate! Ze shop is over zere," the Bomb used his fur cap to point towards a large house with a sign hanging from it with a picture of a red flower painted on it, "And over zere is ze Inn." Next to the Shop was an even larger house with a sign hanging from it that read "Far Out Inn: Totally Far Out, dude!" against a background of a Toad Head.

"Zo, zank you vonce more for joining us on zis trip!" With that, the Blue Bob-Omb sighed and walked away. The horde I was in slowly began to disband, leaving me alone. Visible. To that guy.

Careful observation revealed most people were going towards the inn, so I decided to go with the flow and follow suit. I opened the wooden door and felt the cool air from behind rush into the room. People were barking things like "Close the door!" at me, and I did my best to shut it. However, I felt eyes burning into the back of my head, and in reality, I couldn't blame them, with my vibrant pink hair, long, shadowy tail replacing my legs, and overall odd appearance. I could see out of the corner of my eye that the Bub-Ulb from before sat angrily on a couch, absorbing the warmth of this place.

I floated up to the counter, behind a green-shelled Koopa. He nodded quickly and left for his room. I moved forward and was greeted by the smile of the Toad Woman. She, too, spoke with a Russian Accent, although admittedly, slightly less.

"Hello, and welcome to Far Out Inn! Vould you like to use our new package of three nights and-"

"Just one night, please," I asked as nicely as possible. I could see the Toad was eyeing my hair; well, she's a brunette and her hair is cut to shreds, but mine is long and …well, pink.

"Would you like full service or just a Quick Stay?"

I laid five coins on the table. "Quick Stay, if you may." She arched an eyebrow, and accepted the money. "Very well; your room is 3.C1. Enjoy your stay!" She handed me a card with a black strip on the side, and I took it, nodded, and went into the hall. Normally, she would have told me room 3.C1 meant Room number 3, Section C, Floor 1, but I guess she knew I had gone to many Toad Houses and Inns before and was familiar with their promotions and such.

Passing the A Section Rooms, I soon noticed that there was one door short. Between rooms 12.C1 and 14.C1 was a very large gap that looked as if though there could have fit another door that led to a room. I looked around the area. Indeed, it looked as if though there COULD have been a room 13.A1 there. There were no signs of there ever being a room there, however. Perhaps the people who built this place were superstitious?

I found the same thing as I passed the B section: No number 13.B1. Kind of scary to think about it; it could have been a room, but something happened, and then it was locked away from the eyes of the innocent…OK, I'm reading into this too much.

"H-hi, there," spoke a voice from behind. It gave me a shock, but as I turned, I was relieved to see it was the Koopa who had defended me before. "Y-y-you were that person from before, right?"

"Um, yes. I'm Vivian," I revealed. He gasped with awe. "And…who are you?"

"M-m-me? I'm Kibrato… I came from Koopa Village to here so that I could, a-a-as they told me back home, get out more." He stopped introducing himself and stared at me with large, sparkly eyes. "I know who you are…you were one of Mario's pa-par-partners."

I nodded. "Yep, I sure was."

With a shaking finger, he pointed towards me and said, "You h-helped beat the Shadow Queen…y-y-you have to tell me: Did it take long? W-was it kinda very hard?"

"Err," I started. "Yes, it took hours to defeat her, and it was very hard. I laid the finishing blow on her, however."

Kibrato jumped with joy. "The s-s-subject is really inter-e-es-esting to me…how many witnesses were there?"

"There are three confirmed ones…" I decided to skip around those three confirmed ones. "There are also some unconfirmed witnesses who went down for the sake of seeing the fight. Most died, however, from trying to get back up, or by the Shadow Queen herself."

"Is-is-is it true that most of the witnesses were killed by the three confirmed witnesses just as the Shadow Queen was getting defeated?" he pressed. I paused. Beldam DID mention something along the lines of 'taking care of those nosy ones who might have interfered with us'…she also said that during the fight, she and Marilyn gave some of her strength to the Shadow Queen, which was why she was able to have the same amount of strength after Peach taking her energy and giving it to Mario.

"Yes…yes, I think it is true. I think they could have helped beat the Shadow Queen, which is why perhaps some of the confirmed witnesses might have killed them…I certainly did not do it, however."

Kibrato seemed surprised to learn this. "Wow…I…didn't believe at first, but…well, um, yeah…about those three confirmed witnesses…was it true that one of them, d-d-despite not being an actual Shadow Siren, joined the group anyways?"

Talking about this subject always made me uncomfortable…actually, almost anything that had to do with him.

"Well, yes, it's true, he DID join the group…but it sort of fell apart after he…they lost a fight with us in the Palace of Shadow Garden."

The green-shelled Reptile was at the edge of his metaphorical seat now. "That guy stole Mario's body and then tried to kill him in Twi-Twilight Town, right? And then he stalked you all the way to the Excess Express under th-th-the disguise of Zip Toad, am I right so far?"

I disliked where this topic was going, so I decided to try and end it. "Yes, all you said was true. I would prefer to talk about something else, however, because that guy scares me, even more due to recent events."

Unfortunately, I only helped fuel the fire. Kibrato heard that last part. "Recent Events? What happened?"

"Nothing," I lied. "I shouldn't have even said that. Just ignore that." Disappointed, the Koopa started fidgeting with some keys.

"S-say, Vivian…can you help me find my room? I've been going in circles for a while," he explained.

I nodded, then looked at him. "What's your room number"

"13.C1."

I remembered the other room Thirteens and could realize why he couldn't find his own: perhaps it didn't exist and he got an outdated key. However, I decided to just see if maybe there was some sort of hint as to why there no room thirteens.

"Alright, let's go," I said, floating towards where I expected the C section to be. He tagged behind me, with the key in his hand making a metallic noise.

To my surprise, there WAS a room 13.C1. However, it was somewhat hard to find, and when we passed it, Kibrato told me there was supposed to be a door there and started feeling the grayish blue walls for the door. He found it, however, The door had been hidden cleverly by being painted the same color as the walls. The doorknob had been painted the same color, but was found by the fact that it had a keyhole-but wasn't supposed to. All the doors used the new electronic card system, but seeing as how Kibrato had a key…

"Well, unlock it." I nudged him, and he inserted the key, rattled the knob, and opened the door.

The room looked as if though it hadn't been used in a long time, or rather, updated

in a long time, either. A record player was stuffed in a corner of the room, and an old-timey Television in another. The bed looked rather small, as if though it could barely fit the already miniscule Koopa, and the faded pink wallpaper did not match the green furniture at all.

"Um, thank you Vivian…I g-g-guess," Kibrato muttered as he stepped awkwardly into his room and examined everything, which seemed to have a thin layer of dust settled on it. Nodding, I went back to the door of room 3.C1, slid my card through the small identification machine, and watched the red bulb on the machine change to a green one, and I was able to open the door.

The difference between Kibrato's room and mine were very obvious: mine was cleaner, had a new TV Model, and the walls matched the furniture very nicely, plus there was a small window next to the large bed. Why was there such a difference? The thought haunted me as I sat down on my bed and stared out the window just in time to see the Stars fade into appearance. The thought that I was at last, safe from him was all I needed to sleep…

When a loud thump echoed through the walls.

"Wh-what are you doing?!"

The scream jolted me out of my dreamlike trance, and I was alert. I heard another one:

"Who ARE you? W-w-what are you? I-I-..."


	2. Vibrating Nervousness lol cliche

An abrupt silence. I could recognize the voice as Kibrato's. Now nervous, I had two choices: Listen to my feelings and find Kibrato and what had happened, or listen to my common sense and stay in bed. Going with my common sense, I did not get up, but still stayed alert. I heard a flurry of footsteps past my door, and hoped curiosity did not get the better of me…however, when I heard some faint voices muttering "This is where we heard him scream…was a Koopa staying here…", I was thirsting for answers.

Deciding to be inconspicuous, I sank into the Shadows. Looking upwards, I could see my hotel room through a thin film of violet. Moving under the door, and then down the hall, I could see a White Clubba, a Green Magikoopa, and a red-spotted Toad surrounding the door of room 13.C1. All three were discussing something hurriedly.

"…Just burst in, surprise him," the Toad Guard suggested, but the Mage shook his head and responded, "We don't know what we're dealing with…best to do it slowly, see if he makes any moves…"

The White Clubba then added, "But he could have gotten away by now…" To the demise of all three, some people started to gather; among them was a blue Ratooey clutching a suitcase, a red Bob-omb, and a Lakitu still in her night gown.

"What's going on?" questioned the Bob-omb loudly. The three guards huddled together, then nodded and the Magikoopa went to the front, the Clubba faced the door, large, white hand on its gray-blue handle, and the Toad facing the Clubba.

"We suspect something is going on here," the Green-robed Koopa responded, "and are deciding to investigate. For your safety, we would prefer it if you walked to your rooms, preferably in pairs."

"In pairs?" the female Lakitu inquired. "First of all, there are three of us. Second, no one ever asks other people to walk in pairs or groups unless something dangerous is going on, Quit being political about it; what happened?"

The Magikoopa's brow scrunched. "It is not of your concern. However, there may be a breach in security, which is we ask you to walk together."

"S-sir," the Ratooey said in a quiet voice, "These two have the rooms closest to each other, not next to each other, but not that far away, either. I am far away from them, so I will have to walk alone…what is in this suitcase is very important, and has certain qualities that make it important. It can raise the dead, cause delicious but terrible explosions…I need a way to hide it. Have you anything?"

"J-Just take some repel gel," the Wizard said in an annoyed fashion, pulling out what appeared to be a tube of toothpaste and giving it to the Rat. "It shall make it completely invisible. However, apply it when you get to your room, or you could lose the suitcase, and don't let it get wet; it washes off with water."

"Thank you, sir…" the rodent said respectfully before walking off with the Lakitu and the Bob-omb, looking around his shoulders constantly.

Still in the Shadows, I tensed myself as they opened the door, and moved forward to see a smidge better. However, their bodies ultimately blocked the view, so I couldn't see what they were all huddled up over. I hear the Clubba ask, "What could have made this?"

"The resident here was a Koopa, so maybe he fell on his shell…?" the Toad said uncertainly, not believing his own story. The Magikoopa leaned forward.

"No, that would be destroying our property, and the lad, as I recall from the Toad who gave him the keys, was very nervous about breaking any rules. Plus, just falling back on the wall couldn't make a hole THIS big…"

The White Clubba suddenly started shivering. He pointed downwards, and said, "L-l-l-l-look at…th-th-that…" The Toad and Magikoopa tilted their heads downwards, and gasped at what they had found. What was it? I was itching to know.

"There's…blood there…" the Toad said shakily. The Mage looked closer, as if though he could not believe it. Then he leaned back, looked at the wall again, and sighed.

"That p-proves it; he could not have just fallen back. Someone –or something- must have thrown him into the wall. Even if his shell hit the wall, at a certain angle, it could seriously harm his body as well…" he theorized.

"We have to call the police; this is out of our hands," the Clubba admitted. The other two nodded, and all three walked out of the room. As soon as they were gone, I got back out of the Shadows, and looked at the wall. There was a dent in it the size of Kibrato's shell and a small trail of blood leaked below it. The room was a mess, the Record Player had been thrown down on the floor, the mattress of the bed was on the floor, the pillow all fluffed out, and the television screen had a crack in it.

Looking around the dismal scene, thoughts of what had happened to Kibrato flashed in my mind. My first, and rather bizarre thought, was that he had gotten him. But that could not have happened; he could not have found out that I was staying here and that Kibrato had something to do with me, so I ruled that option out. My second was that the Bub-ulb from before, being humiliated by Kibrato, the Tour Guide and me, had decided to get revenge on him and attacked him. But a Bub-ulb was not strong enough to throw a Koopa – even a small one like Kibrato- into the wall. What, then, had caused it?

Floating out with bad thoughts circulating in my head, I heard a sharp noise, like something had fallen on the floor. Tensing myself, thinking that perhaps whoever had done that was near, I heard the noise of footsteps, some muffled words, and then a slamming of a door.

I then recalled that the Ratooey that was there- he was one me and Mario had met before. He had brought a Hot Sauce formula, and it was stolen to try and create an explosion…the sticky one he described. Could there be someone after it? If so, then I was in trouble. The noise I first heard resembled an object falling down- his suitcase, perhaps? The footsteps could be whoever had stolen the hot sauce, the muffled words…perhaps a conversation with a friend helping him out? The slamming of a door, could have been them leaving. I had to escape…but then the thought of someone catching me running out just after an explosion seemed suspicious. They could accuse me of having worked with whoever might have done this!

A more sensible thought entered my head – I could be totally wrong and the noises I hear could just be the businessman falling down, getting up, muttering some swear words, and then slamming the door to his room. The other, more radical option still scared me, and I also realized that maybe Kibrato could be involved and I could be the hero and rescue him…so perhaps maybe a bit more undercover work wouldn't hurt…

With that, I began to go into the ground before realizing that maybe I could miss some important details while hiding in the shadows. So I would just stay out, and veil myself only if I had to hide.

Walking down the hall that led to the D section, I heard another noise, this one sharper and more metallic. I heard a subdued yelling following the noise. It sounded a bit louder than before, though, and I could tell that it was nearer this time. In fact, it came from one of the doors in the hall. I pressed my head next to each door to hear for any signs of activity, but I could hear either silence, or noises not suitable for those under the age of 13. I silently wished to myself that I would never have to eavesdrop and hear things like that again when I came near a door from which I head a struggling noise inside. I was about to dismiss it as another 'odd' noise when I heard the yelling from within it again. Looking around for the source of the sound, I felt a light tapping on my shoulder, and turned around.

"Hiya, Vi-Vi-Vivian!" said a strangely familiar yet somewhat unknown Voice. My sight told me that Kibrato was standing in front of me, smiling a rather dorky smile, but my ears told me his voice sounded very little like it usually did.

"Kibrato?" I questioned. He did not seem like nervous, hyperactive Koopa from before. He actually seemed much more composed thank before, and the only sign of any energy in him was that he was swinging his hands from front to back, like a pendulum.

"Yep, it's me," he said curtly. His voice…it sounded strange in one sense, as in, it sounded nothing like the Koopa, but I could recognize the voice as similar to someone else's.

"You…sound different," I commented, cocking my head to one side. He shrugged.

"Ma-maybe yes. But I am fine. Tell everyone that I am fine." The turtle sounded in a hurry to get out of this conversation, as he looked at the roof during random times.

"But what was that hole they found in your room? And also, what about the blood?"

"Fell into the wall. And I also hit my head."

I was very cynical of 'Kibrato' now. He said he hit his head, yet his own looked perfectly fine, and also, I noticed now that he had lost his stutter. He did it on occasion, but it sounded very phony and not normal like it usually did.

"I heard a noise down there like someone dropped something-"

"Just the Ratooey Businessman. Dropped his suitcase, see. Also his repel gel." Suddenly, his face went cold and white, and he said quickly, "But he found it and that is what matters."

He started to turn around before flinching and looking back at me.

"Oh, and Vivian…stay away from any supply closets. Or else…" his voice became very dark and furtive now. "You will not be pleased."

With that, he ran away noiselessly. I was left rather baffled. What did he mean by 'I will not be pleased' and 'Stay away from Supply Closets'? This arbitrary act slightly scared me, and yet, it also left me wondering. This supposed Kibrato was hiding something. Those guards said that simply falling back could not have caused a hole like that…

Looking about, trying to hear the noise, I got closer, until it got as loud as I could hear. As I glanced up, I saw something that made a chill rush down my spine: the sign above the door said 'Supply Closet'. Reaching shakily for the handle, I recalled the warning: "Stay away from supply closets or else you will not be pleased." But my inquisitiveness made me ignore the threat and I rattled the doorknob, opened the door with a creak, and…


	3. Still Untitled

_Oh, people are responding! Yay! . Uhh, here's Chapter 3. This whole thing wasn't originally Chaptered (it was a long, continuous thing) which is why the cut-off might seem strange at times. I'll see if I can actually Name them something cool. So, yeah, here's the chapter:_

"MmmmMmmm! Hhhhm! Hmmhm!" I saw what appeared to be a small Koopa, bound and gagged, with what appeared to be large quantities of his head, shell, and legs missing, and water streaming down his head. It was Kibrato.

"Muhuhuh!" Kibrato struggled to speak through the tape wound tightly around his beak, and let out an intelligible sound: "Untie!"

On his command, I quickly closed the door, went to his back, and started unscrambling the tape. After a few minutes, his arms were free, and he could rip the large, clear tape off his mouth.

I could see in his face he was nervous, worried, and also quite damp. His forehead had a small bump on it, as if though hit with a small object. I noticed that as the water flowed down the parts of his body that were missing, they reappeared hastily.

"It was the guy!" he said randomly, looking around in bewilderment. I slapped him, and put him on the chair in which he was previously bound.

"What happened?" I inquired calmly. He looked up out of the corner of his eye, and then told me his story:

"I was-was, in th-the room, trying to work the TV be-because it had no control remote. The room looked as if though it came from the Sixties or something, because that was what the record player said: 'Built by National, 1969'. Really old. A-a-and so I was on my bed, when the door opened. I-it was this guy, draped in white, with r-r-red eyes…and he said that he needed to do something and wo-would need for me to l-l-leave this place for a month. I-I-I told him n-n-n-no because he was not even staff.

"Anyways, he m-m-meant it, because he did this thing, and I could not see him anymore. Just then, I saw a White Clubba, and he grabbed me by the feet, span me around, and s-s-sent me flying into the wall. I w-w-was able to withdraw into my shell before I was hit, but the impact a-a-also shook my body so much, and it hurt…which is one of the two things that caused this b-b-bump on my head."

"TWO?" I questioned. "What was the other thing?"

"Just a m-moment…I was barely conscious, and I couldn't feel anything. Everything looked fuzzy and dark. I could f-f-feel I was being dragged out, but nothing more. Suddenly, I was thrown into something, I-I-I assume this room, and after the longest time, I heard a trip-p-ping noise. Then, a few seconds later, I heard the guy say 'This better work' and some stuff was smeared on me. Then I blacked out. It d-d-did not last long, however, because the slamming of the door caused an object to fall on me, presumably a bucket. When I looked down on my feet, I saw only the floor. Lik-lik-like I was invisible. But when the water fell on it, it reappeared."

I recalled that the Ratooey Businessman had some Repel Gel that the Magikoopa gave him, and I heard a noise similar to someone tripped and a case falling on the floor, and then someone saying something. Of course, later came the slamming of the door, and the noise of something falling…and Repel Gel disappeared with water. Of course, so far it made sense, but the mystery stranger part did not.

"I know what has happened so far," I told him. "But the guy who came into your room…what was he like? What did he do again? I know that he was a Clubba-"

"N-n-no, he was not," interrupted the Koopa hostage. "He was cloaked in white, and had killer red eyes. They could cut through you like a laser, I swear. He did not looked special in any w-way, more like a strange costume. But then he disappeared in purple fog, and reappeared in the much larger form of a C-c-c-clubba. Then later, when he took me, he did this thing again, only I was kind of green for a moment, and then it was as if though I was l-l-looking into a mirror and my reflection went th-th-through the door and started walking down the hall. Then I heard you and started calling."

Out of the back of my mind, these clues came together to form a memory of a person who I hoped I would not ever have to encounter: him. It all fit: red eyes, white cloak, ability to change to other people…and a reason for doing it. I was never safe here. He was hiding all along, and he had spoken to me in the form of Kibrato…which he had beaten and locked in a supply closet. Very clever of him…very clever. Get to me through a new acquaintance I made…

"Vi-Vivian? Hello?" The Koopa waved his arm in front of my face, waking me up from my daze. I blinked, and looked at him in an alarmed way.

"I have to go." He seemed somewhat confused at my sudden saying of this, and I elaborated more: "This person who imitated you, he is someone that I have hoped not to see ever again…he is the one related to the recent events."

"I-I-I understand…but the police need to get him before he harms someone else…" I shook my head.

"Wherever I go, he goes. The only way to have police following me would be to have them be my bodyguards, and even then, there is the chance that one of them may be him in disguise…"

Looking at me in a worried matter, Kibrato asked, "But then, w-w-what will you do i-i-if you find him?"

I slid my striped hat down a bit. "I do not know. Now, go and tell the police about what happened. How long have we been in this closet, anyways? No matter. Just…go."

The shivering Koopa nodded. He seemed pretty odd, because the repel gel had started to fade, and so parts of his body were opaque while others were fading into view. I opened the door and gently pushed him out. I followed shortly, and saw him running down the hall, water dripping off his green shell and sliding onto the floor. I searched the labyrinth for a way out, and soon found the door that led me to the receptionist.

"Did you enjoy your sta-"

"Yeah, whatever," I interrupted as I ran out as fast I could. The wind stung my face harshly as I ran out, and looking about, I spotted the statue, meaning that to leave Fahr Outpost, I would have to west, and so I did. The Bob-ombs that spotted me looked confused to see me fleeing in such great desperation, but I ignored them, and soon, I came to the icy path. It was especially cold here, and I could feel the accumulation of snowflakes on my skin. But I had to get away if there was any chance of him finding me again…

As I was about to move, something sharp ran through my skin and a cold body knocked me down. Looking up, I saw a blue plant with a strange, fish-like head glaring at me, despite lacking eyes. Looking at my arm, I could see that see had bitten me, and the cold wasn't doing the wound much better. I had to take care of this plant, and quick. With that, I set my fist ablaze as I delivered a nasty punch right above its mouth. Getting up, I could hear it squealing in horror, and discovered to my own that the flames appeared to be melting him. A pool of water enlarged under him as he shrank gradually, the feral fire licking it hungrily.

While I floated away, I noticed that the sky was getting grayer. Maybe more snow would fall, and cool the Piranha plant, and maybe…no, Vivian. Now is not the time to worry about this.

The rest of the field was full of enemies, but I was able to dodge their blows. I could not let anything short of a deadly disease or lightning stop me from getting to that pipe, away from that guy. It came into view, and I scattered on top of it, and pushed down on it. I felt a suction coming from below as I was pulled down. Traveling through lightning speeds through the plumbing, I was soon discharged into a small, grayish room. There was a square-shaped hole that I walked out of, leading me into the overly complex and famous Rogueport underground.

Bonk! Bonk! Bonk! The sound of something squishy slamming against a harder surface echoed in my mind. Looking down, I saw a Spania dash stupidly into the wall, horns sticking up in order to impale me where I to fall. The creature looked up at me with its white, elliptical eyes and buck teeth on a body that looked like a wide, orange coil. Wounding itself up tight, it spun into the wall again, then patrolled the gap between this wall and the next ledge. I floated over the gap, stretching out my long tail so that it connected to my shadow. The Spania tried to attack it, but kept on missing it. Keeping myself up was a difficult task with it hurting my tail, but I made it. Looking at the platforms, I ignored them and fell off. Out of view of the snake-like creature, I hovered over to a transport pipe, climbed on top of that one, and was I was pulled into the container.

I was ejected out of a very tall, green pipe and onto some freshly cut green lawn. Looking up at the nice, blue sky, I found myself being kicked by a Goomba.

"Get away, sheila. These are my flowas, see?" urged the green hat. I got up, glared at the arm-less wonder, and stormed out of the area, under the arch as I left into the main central area. As I stalked away, I had thoughts tumbling in my head:

Where can I hide next? It boiled there for a few moments before a Bandit bumped into me and interrupted these ideas.

"Gimme all your monies!" the figure swathed in blue demanded as he held out a possessive hand. I pushed it away, and scowling, I responded, "I don't have money with me now." Disappointed, the freak walked away. I thought about what a nice place the world would be if everything was free – or at least priced really low. I had heard about such a place: the other side of the Mushroom Kingdom, ruled by the Stars. Could I hide there? How could I go there in the first place?

I looked around for clues. Ye olde shoppe. Nothing there. Mousimillion. Er, no. The inn… the inn! It hit me like an arrow, there were loads of people there, and surely one of them must be knowledgeable about the Mushroom Kingdom! Opening the door, I entered eagerly.

What looked to be a man with a green bean for a head was wiping glasses. He breathed on them before continuing brushing them with a towel. Most of the customers consisted of walking, black bombs or chestnuts with feet. All of them carried the rough, worn-out look of a Rogue, and none of them had the 'prim and proper' feel that apparently came with the Mushroom Kingdom.

Well, none except for one: A little man bearing a white mask and a red cloak held together by a yellow band around his waist. He sat isolated in a table, slowly sipping his tea, unlike the other wild customers who were having drinking games and yelling out randomly. A suitcase was leaning on his wooden chair. Taking a seat near him, I heard him muttering to himself.

"Simply unbelievable, those lackadaisical ragamuffins…They get inebriated faster than a waif presented with an ample spectrum of drinks…I daresay, they are a shame to this place… I am radically blissful that I do not belong to this unfit faction…" He looked up to me. "Hello. What do you crave of me?"

I looked for the right words. "Do…you know about the other side of the mushroom Kingdom? Where things are supposedly free?"

"Ah, the amount of coinage you have is your ailment, correct? Well, I am well informed about, as you call it, 'other side'. I reside there, you know. Made my domain the house near the Toy box of the Shy Guys. The cause being that I am one of the Shy Guys, people believe I am like the rest; wild, accident-prone, and most of all, mischievous." He spoke the word with such hate. "Because of that belief, it is rather problematical for me to create a proper image. I toil earnestly and I try to be as refined as I can. Lately, the people are not as arduous to impress, for which I am thankful."

"Thank you for the information. I would like to learn how to get there, however," The little Shy Guy sighed and shook his head disdainfully.

"Take the train; Excess Express. Every two days, it shall traverse the lands to go to the Mushroom Kingdom. Today is…Friday, right? So today is one of the days it departs. You are in possession of a ticket, I presume?" I flicked up the ticket laced with gold prints. "That is nice. So go on the train and your arrival to the land shall come speedily. I myself shall be boarding soon" – He pointed towards his suitcase – "I hoped to visit here for a last drink, but it has not been as quiet as I aspired it to be. No matter."

"So I just go to the Train Station and say I want to go to the Mushroom Kingdom?" I summed up. He groaned.

"Yes, but it shall be the Excess Express you ride. It is the only train that goes to the place, so don't set your expectations high for another train if that is what you wished for." He pulled back his cloak to reveal yet another red cloak with a wristwatch on it, glanced at me, and sighed. "Speaking of which, the train shall be departing soon. Well," he turned to everyone and made a beck, "Thank you for letting me...enjoy the time that I have spent here, but I must retreat to the place of my origin."

"What, your mom?!?" one of the intoxicated Bob-ombs joked. The rest started laughing and making much more obscene versions of the joke, and the Shy Guy shook his head miserably.

"I probably should have just absconded…well, if you wish to come, trail behind me," he motioned towards me. Walking out, I followed excitedly. Outside in the plaza, he noticed my lack of bags and the likes. "Do you not have a case in which you keep your items?" he inquired. I nodded.

"Hammerspace. Rented a space quite a while ago. SO much better than having a regular inventory…" He seemed confused.

"What is a hammerspace? How does it overwhelm an inventory in terms of quality?"

"Hammerspace makes use of the fact we are cartoon-ish. You buy a space in an infinite dimension and store things there. You can then take them out by the desired portal. Like, right now, since I have stored my wallet in hammerspace, and the portal by which I take it out and put it in is my hat…" I produced a Wallet out of my hat. "I can take it out of there. I have a lot more things there, too. It basically explains like how small schoolbags and hats can hold an almost infinite amount of items."

"Very intriguing, but our conversation has made us seconds late! We must continue." With that, he waited for a crowd of people to pass before going through the arch. I followed suit, and he led me around a corner, down an alley, and into a large train station. Various trains stood side by side, with platforms leading to each. The Shy Guy talked to all the right people, and I had to be examined once and show my ticket. I had to tag behind him very closely, as a horde of people emptied out into this area. Soon, we boarded the large and fabulous Excess Express.

After some more people got on, the conductor yelled out, "All ABO-ARD!", got on, and then shut the door, the train slowly got into motion, and then I heard the ever familiar whistle of the train.


	4. The 'Letter'

Feeling safer with no sign of that guy on board, I went into my cabin (which was, the conductor told me, number 5) and inspected my room mates:

First was the Shy Guy who had gotten me to this place who was unpacking his suitcase. Then there was a pink dinosaur with a long snout replacing a mouth sitting on one of the Cabin Beds and talking to a female Toad. Both were giggling immaturely, apparently to the dislike of the Shy Guy. Soon, their silly laughter got on my nerves as well because in addition, they were now gossiping about something.

"And then……he did that……and broke up with……so horrible!" dramatized the human-like Toad, holding a pale hand to her forehead. The pink Birdo gasped.

"I know! …Lazy, selfish…little puppy…he's kinda …though…… his immaturity," the Birdo gushed.

"Yeah! Teehee!" With that both broke out into a laughing fit, much to the displeasure of the Shy Guy and me.

Looking at them in an exasperated way, he kindly asked of them, "If it is physically possible for the two of you, could you lower your tone? It irritates me to overhear your discussions, and I would rather do without knowledge of them." I looked at them in an accusative way. Both started laughing maniacally, throwing their heads backwards and actually falling onto the soft bunk bed. I exchanged a confused glance with the Shy Guy and turned back to them when they stopped.

"Look at that! Thinks he can confuzzle us with those big ol' words," said the Toad to the Birdo, who nodded while hiding a large grin.

"Nice of you to be a gentleman, but come on! Could not you have informed us of that in a way that was easier for us to decipher?" mocked the Birdo with a faux British Accent. Both started to crack up again, irritating the Shy guy again.

"Hey, I just noticed," started the red-haired Toad, "speaking of gentleman, how many people were boarding this cabin? Maximum of four, right? That girl who just came here was the fourth one. That means that you are the only male in this cabin!" The duo erupted into a fit of muffled laughter now. The Shy Guy just realized that now, looked around nervously, and reddened upon affirming it was true. The two obnoxious girls started sniggering in recognition of this.

I decided to defend him and spoke out, "Well, I imagine that must be of great disappointment to you. No other guys to flirt with and get jealous over. You are laughing on the outside, but I know that you are just dying on the inside." The two looked at me first in unmistakable rage.

"Look, you're defending him. Are you his girlfriend?" teased the Birdo. " I never imagined that two different species would get along that well."

"They do not," interrupted the man in red. Everyone looked at him in surprise, me included. "I…divorced with my wife a few months ago. She…was a close relative of the Shy Guys; a Bandit. And…well, we got along for some time, before I discovered she was being a polyamorous coquette," he spat, resent dripping on those last words. "Oh, for those who don't know what polyamorous means,-" he shot a mean look at the two girls sitting on the same bed, "-it basically means having an affair. Coquette is basically just being a flirt, that…so I had to end it. It was horrible having her cheat on me…it just had to come to an end."

An awkward silence haunted the room, until at last the Birdo said sympathetically, "…I'm sorry…I did not know…seriously. We didn't mean to depress you…just annoy."

The Toad with the curly hair perked up. "You said you divorced a few months ago, right? Well, there's more fish in the sea, you know," she spoke shyly in a way I recognized as a protean signal. Eyes swinging back to the Shy Guy, I wondered how he would interpret this coy trifle. Thankfully, he didn't think of it as her attempt to tease her, but rather took it as advice and nodded solemnly.

"I give you my authentic gratitude that you care about my business," he said simply. The tension in the air had lowered, and the two girls went back to chatting while the Shy guy continued unpacking next to his Bunk Bed. Floating up to him, I smiled neatly.

"Um, you never told me your name. What was it?" I questioned in my most polite manner.

"Robert…the name bestowed upon me is Robert," he said in the most complicated way he could.

"I'm Annabelle Lee!" the red-haired Toad shrieked randomly, waving her hand in the air. The Birdo followed suit and introduced herself: "I am Lenore. Nice to meet'cha."

"Er, I'm Vivian…" I said awkwardly. I didn't exactly plan on introducing myself, but getting to know everyone was a pleasure. I turned back to Robert the Shy Guy.

"So, which bed shall be reserved for me?" I mustered with the finest words I could. He stopped unpacking and looked up.

"Whichever one you desire. It would be in my best personal interests if I could have-"

"I'd like the bottom," I blurted out. He sighed, and looked at the two beds.

"I preferred the bottom, but I allowed you to decide, so I shall take residence in the top…" Robert agreed effortlessly. Closing his suit and gripping its handle tightly, he went to the back of the bed and started to climb up it. On further inspection, I saw that there were rectangle-shaped holes in the side of the bed, alternating plank, hole, plank, hole, kind of like the side itself was a ladder. This could prove difficult for me to climb, considering my tail…

I cleared my throat, and called out, "Robert? I wanted the bottom because…it's hard for me to climb stairs…"

"Ah, it does not matter. I allowed you to choose one out of two, and you chose the bottom. I will confide by that decision. Interestingly enough, I can see very well up here. The window and its contents are still in sight, the little drawer there, and I can see quite clearly that the other bed has the top bed unoccupied."

"What are we doing now?" Annabelle snorted. She and Lenore were both jumping on the mattress, Lenore was hitting her head quite a lot, however, causing a sort of thumping sound.

"You are attempting to commit suicide by bouncing about the bed in a silly matter. The top bed shall fall upon both of you, flattening you. Am I correct?"

"…Maaaaaybe," said the bipedal reptile after a period of silence. Both looked at each other, and; thankfully; rather than exploding into yet more laughter, they shrugged. They then took out from under the bed their own suitcases, and started to unpack. I enjoyed the silence and decided to settle down on my own bed. I hadn't brought anything, since I was on the run, and I had my hat which was the portal to my own little hammerspace.

With that, I pulled out of my striped hat a little Mailbox DS. Being of the earlier model, it did not have the luxury of having weighted lighter. I loved it all the same, in its electric blue glory. Opening it up, when it reached as far as it could open, it made a lovable snap! sound. Waiting for it to power up, I saw the screen blink, and then it glowed white. Pulling out the stylus that was conveniently placed on the backside of the system, I tapped the bottom screen to access my mailbox. Some old mail was still there, but nothing new had arrived.

I needed to get to one of my old friends, however, and tell them about where I was, how I was doing, and the recent events that occurred lately. Scanning my mail list for anyone familiar, I soon found that I had left one old message unread. Looking at it, I saw that it was an advertisement. Ugh. I was going to delete it before realizing that the address was Shy Guy's Toy box… the name rang in my head.

"Hey, you, Robert." He looked up. "Where did you say you lived near?"

"The Toy Box of Shy Guys-"

"That's great now, ok," I silenced, opening the letter anxiously. It was titled 'Toy Box Donation!' Opening it, I saw the letter:

Dear Vivian,

We are very pleased to inform you that your donation to the Shy Guy's toy Box went out as planned. Your donation of $1337 went straight to the benefit of starving children department. Because of your kind donation, we are going to give you your free ticket to a free guide to Shy Guy's Toy Box and access to where you wish. Thank you, and hoping sincerely that you shall donate again, I am

Gourmet Guy,

Shy Guy's Toybox Advertising and Culinary Department

Note: You may not access under construction areas nor off limits areas. Ticket expires 28/11/06/. You can not apply for a Rain Check or War Check or any other Check. We are allowed to seize you and search you if we have a very reasonable suspicion you are holding weapons of Mass Destruction. Thank you, the Military Advisor and Captain of Shy Guy's Toy box, General Guy.


	5. Everything's Fine Under My Sun

I waited for a few moments, looking it over to soak up all the information that was sent to me. The Birdo peeked over my shoulder and scanned the text as well. She got off, and when I looked at her, she was smiling insanely and telling the Toad.

"…So she got like, a free ticket to some thing…"

When she finished, the look on the Toad's was the polar opposite of hers. She was frowning madly and folding her arms.

"That's not right," she said. Lenore looked confused.

"What do you mean 'that's not right'?"

"It isn't right that Vivian is taking advantage of some guy misspelling his email address."

"Why? If he spelled it wrong, that's his problem. He don't get no ticket," explained Lenore. Annabelle shook her head.

"But he would have gotten that ticket from donating his own money. That ticket was his reward, and he shouldn't have to lose something just because he made a silly little accident," Annabelle said in a higher voice.

"His reward," countered Lenore," was that the starving Children in Shy Guy's Toy box get food. If he wanted a ticket, why pay one thousand, three hundred thirty-seven dollars for it? Why not just pay-"

"The price is irrelevant," interrupted Annabelle. "Perhaps lots of people want to go to that place, and that specific ticket is hard to come by, and they were having a promotion, and-"

"Excuse my intolerable rudeness, but if I may, could I intercept this conversation?" Robert asked.

"Sure thing," shrugged Lenore.

"Well, I must say that any sort of Ticket to Shy guy's Toy Box is in very low demand simply because no one wants to go to an area filled with mischievous, immature little creatures who once swept a wave of havoc through their town. If anything, the price shall be low, and to further contribute to that, the supply plentiful. There is no reason why anybody should pay said amount of money merely to visit a place they probably have little or no interest in going," Robert lectured. "It is rather odd that they would wish to donate money in the first place, but it appears that they are simply the kind of people who swell with joy upon seeing other people doing well. That possibility exists as well."

"Well, Vivian should try to find out who sent it in the first place, right? It's only courtesy," she added, trying to touch upon the subject that was rather important to him.

"I am afraid that this is more of a matter of physical and logical impossibilities rather than of courtesy," said the Shy Guy in a depressed tone. "What is your E-Mail address? May you speak it to me?"

Annabelle deliberated a moment's time before saying, now imagine about it: on a keyboard, what letters encase the perimeter of the initial letter of poemyr1849?"

"O," Lenore responded impulsively. "I recall it from the internet slang 'pwn', which is a typo of 'own'."

"Very well, now substitute the two letters. What is the result? ooemyr1848. What if somebody forgot the first p? And capitalizations? Different keyboards and alt codes and laptops provide a very large variety of typesets. To someone who does not understand English, the letter 'p' could be confused for the letter 'þ'. Consider the same possibility for the rest of the letters…typos…and with those numbers, too. The last could be replaced as .net, .com, .name, et cetera. Do you understand how impossible the task of finding the bearer of the original sender is now?"

"And how do you know that who you E-Mail is the one who sent the original E-Mail? For things like that, they generally have an input area where you say your name and stuff. There are usually two boxes for putting in your address so you don't get it wrong. What are the odds of getting the same misspelling twice?" Lenore added.

Annabelle Lee was silent. The pink reptile started to laugh.

"Nya! Nyaha ha! NYA!" taunted the Birdo mercifully. "Bua! Ha! HAHAHAHAHA! LOOOOOSER! You lost, you lost, you lost! Say it with me!" she sang.

"L!" she put her arms in a right angle.

"O!" She curved her arms together to form an O.

"S!" Lenore tried to bend her body into an S shape.

"T!" She held out both arms and formed a T.

"What does that spell?" she asked. Annabelle slapped her violently.

"Lost. And right now, you just lost, too," hissed the Toad as Lenore rubbed her injury with her hand. Looking at her with narrowed eyes, she may as well have jumped on her and started to claw her, but Annabelle Lee sis that first. I tried to see if I could pry the two apart, and Robert looked as if he would have a heart attack. When the two jumped apart and prepared to launch at each other, I visualized a small wall of fire between them, and due to being a fire witch – whoa, it worked! The two could not see each other through the burning air, and saw only crackling, orange wisps.

With a simple waving motion, the flame shrank to the size of the fireball, and did a neat trick that made it look as if though it just consumed itself. The two gave looks not of hate now, but of fear. All three people in the room; the pink, bipedal dinosaur, the red, curly haired girl with the mushroom head, and the little man draped in red; looked at me in an amazed way.

"I didn't know you could do that!" Lenore commented in an impressed way. "Birdos can do some little fire attacks, like fireballs, but not magic like that!" She feebly spat out of the long snout she had a flame which lasted very little. Looking disappointed, she sat down on her bed.

"…" was all that the Toad could muster. A mere ellipse. Not to sound self-absorbed, but if she was going to mutter in fear, she could have at least say something more than a grammatical omission of words.

"Ef…ef……" the Shy Guy said meekly. I had expected some bigger vocabulary here…I mean, I learnt a lot from this guy. Both him and the curly-haired Toad girl were trembling in alarm, while the dinosaur looked at them with disbelief.

"What's the big deal?" Lenore asked, breaking the moment of silence. Robert and Lenore looked at her with eyes as huge as plates.

"What's the big deal?" repeated the Toad. "What's the big deal? I'm afraid of fire, that's the big deal," she spat. "I don't' like it…it just…burns everything. You have no control over it. It's too unstable."

"Agreed," Robert stated. "Fire is basically living. To an extent, you can be in charge of water, and the Earth remains solid, the wind is a bit wilder, but not as disparaging. But fire…those flames supply one of the worst ways to die. Just as bad, if not worse, than drowning. Candidly, I don't think many other rudiments can provide such a sluggish, gradual ache…"

"Wimps," snorted Lenore. "I admit, Fire isn't exactly the friendliest element, and certainly hard to control with little practice. But on the flipside, it's beautiful, natural, and if someone who is experienced with fire can start it, then they can end what they started as well. I don't think that they could end forest fires with a snap of their fingers, but…"

"Still…" Robert whimpered, "Being afraid of conflagration is rather levelheaded." Annabelle nodded in agreement.

"…Whatever," shrugged Lenore. "I'm going to sleep." She flopped playfully down on to the first bed. Annabelle yawned, "I'm going to sleeeeeeep toooo." She climbed the side of the bed and then fell asleep within mere seconds.

"I am supposed to almost certainly doze as well," Robert said. Then he stopped "Dearest me, that sounds horribly wrong. Well, good night." He climbed the stairs and buried himself under various sheets. I was SO jealous. Everyone could magically fall asleep within seconds. It took me hours to go to sleep. HOURS.

Bored, I looked out of the window and gawked at the outside. The land was nothing more than a desert, sand covering every inch as far as I could see. There were cacti around, scattered sparsely. Not much more than that, I saw some tumbleweed rolling bouncily past. Taking my gaze upwards, I saw that stars had started to fade into view. The moon, hanging lazily in the sky, was giving off a rather vibrant white. Fluffy, purple clouds were dappled across the scenery, hiding objects from view. All in all, the strange contrast between the tough, arid desert and the beautiful celestial heavens provided for a wonderful picture. Shame I don't have a camera stored away in hammerspace, this was truly a magical panorama.

BEM! Looking down, I saw I had knocked the cover off the lamp. Bending down to retrieve it, I placed it back on top of the lamp, dimming the lights slightly. I noticed that a piece of paper was peeking out from the drawers. Opening it, I saw some magazines. Browsing through, I found nothing spectacular. Some diet magazines, gossip periodicals, an issue of Playboy to which I just gagged, and beneath that was…newspapers. A whole stack of them, bound together by a single, red rubber band.

Curious, I took them out and sat on my bed. Looking at the first one without moving the band, I saw this was old, 1999. If this was the most recent issue…


	6. Newspapers Guilt Trip WTH?

I dug hungrily through the issues looking for interesting items. One headline stated 'Peach's Forbidden Affair!' while another read 'Motivation (Inside the Villain's Mind): The Reasoning behind Evil Bosses and Villains (Including Exclusive Interview with King Bowser!)', which I put aside for later reading. 'The Invincible Tubba Blubba got pebbl'd!' was amusing because of the little rhymes and stuff.

Bored, I put aside the stack and looked at the 'Motivation' article. The picture it included was one of some weird, purple-looking alien being hit in space called 'Tatanga', as the caption demonstrated.

Looking at the beginning, I started to read:

"Motivation (Inside the Villain's Mind): the Truth behind Evil bosses and villains (Including Exclusive Interview with King Bowser!)

Villains. You know them. You hate 'em or love 'em. There is no gray area. But what compels them to do what they do? How can they kill hundreds mercilessly and not care? What is the goal that drives them to do whatever it takes to reach it?

After interviewing several villains and taking privately-funded polls (free of bias, we SWEAR!), we have discovered at least where the cruelty of them comes from:

Most evil villains and bosses have had horrible childhoods."

Well, yeah, I snorted as I continued to read:

"Many are orphans, some are tortured, and the richer ones were unattended to with isolation from others. They realize that they are not normal. They want to be normal. But they can't. From their birth, they are projected images of torture, loneliness, and violence. Some have been unlucky enough to be molested, and this, combined with the other factors, can leave a child scarred for life."

I couldn't help but just wince reading that paragraph. They certainly didn't have it easy…but why were they evil? Various kids could be subjected to that and still grow up nice and kind…right?

"The factors mentioned above can influence a child's view of normality. Perhaps the unattended ones were cruel to animals to make they feel superior. Cruelty to animals shows a lack of respect for life and a tendency towards violence. Perhaps they had problems considered to be childish and therefore causes them to think lowly of themselves, an activity such as bed-wetting. The bed-wetting which continues into their late childhood shows deep emotional disturbance, which by now, can be understood. They can be rebellious and refuse to do activities like going to school, studying, keeping themselves hygienic, and the likes. In regard to this, they can even set things on fire, showing little regard for society and its rules.

This may lead to things like getting pleasure from stealing, torturing others, and causing pain. This is how they enjoy themselves, they are basically taught, in a sense that they could harm others and it was fine. It happened to them all the time, right? They are easily aroused by things like this (you can view it as either sense of the word, we interpreted it as the non-perverted sense), and this is what compels them to do the evil things they do: Most of them have had extremely horrible starts, and are taught that it's fine to feel pain and cause it. That is the way they enjoy themselves."

Quite honestly, I have never thought that they enjoyed causing harm simply because others had harmed them and they found it ok. I could see where they were going, but still…shouldn't they have a sense of right and wrong?

I should have slapped myself. How can they know? They can't. They are alone, they are ignored, they are treated like a bag of dirt. That's what they think is right and they follow their values, the same way we follow our own values. They probably think that they are doing things perfectly fine because that is what they experience.

"However, there are cases in which attacking or even killing others is just a twisted form of revenge. Say that for 15 years of your life, somebody beats you up everyday. Say that after some time, you get extraordinarily tired of it., to the point of gaining odium of him. That's a very severe hate, you know. You want them gone from your life forever. You think it everyday, and your loathing for him increases. It just stays in your mind. It is right to get rid of him; you think. I am doing the world a favor. And so, you do the act, whatever it is, murder, torture, etc. The hate must be very extreme for this to pass, however. If not, imagine the amount of dead people around.

Money is a big thing for some. It's such a wondrous thing to be living in a rich man's world, with no financial worries. Money corrupts people, however. It screams, "Get me! Get me!" and you will claw your way up to get it, doing whatever necessary. Wealth is a huge reason for some of these heinous acts.

And now, we shall have a little interview with the Lord of the Koopas, King Bowser himself! He has taken a little time out of his schedule to do an interview. In order to avoid being killed, we told him we'd give him something important to him. What is it? It shall be revealed at the end."

Reporters: So Bowser, what inspired you to start doing Villainous things?

Bowser: My father, Morton Koopa. He rocked with the best of them.

Reporters: Rocked? Is he …you know, up there now?

Bowser: Yes, he's really enjoying Canada. How did you know he lived up there?

Reporters: …Whatever. So, you have Eight-

Bowser: NINE.

Reporters: …Nine kids? But we only have the Koopalings and Bowser Jr.!

Bowser: Nope. There's a Ninth one out there. He's the Hair. He's not ready to be revealed.

Reporters: Don't you mean 'heir'? And why isn't he ready to be revealed?

Bowser: Uh…biscuit! HE DOESN'T EXIST! AND DON'T CORRECT MY GRAMMER!

Reporters: Grammar.

Bowser: Quiet! The cheese!

Reporters: Fragmen- ok, we'll stop now. So, where did Nine, er, eight kids come from?

Bowser: Once upon a time Clawdia said "We need people to carry on the throne." So we decided we needed to bring kids to the palace! For days we searched the internet learning how to make kids. Genetic creation was an option until we found out about…IT.

Reporters: In other words, the Gooneys and the Bzaaps!...they had happened?

Bowsers: Gooneys and Bzaaps!? Aren't those Birds and Bees? What do they have to do with anything? Anyways, we found out if we did as the great Raphael Raven said, he would send one of his Raven children to give us kids! But we needed to do something for him first. The most common item found was nasty…but Clawdia and I put through it. And what do you know? SHE LOSES WEIGHT! But that is a symbol that…HE HAS HEARD YOUR CALL AND SHALL BE DELIVERING! We waited for nine effing months until one night, I heard the sounds of screams, flapping wings, and so…I found out the Ravens had given the children to Clawdia and they had to go through her to get the official Nintendo SEAL OF APPROVAL! So she was screaming and saying that the Ravens were either really happy or really mad. She had to fight seven babies at a time….very though, but the seal of approval was eventually SLAPPED ON! And that's how we had eight children. Bowser Jr. came a few years later, and this time, the RAVENS CAME AGAIN! WHOOO HOO!

Reporters: ………Umm…yeah…Neat story. You mentioned the official Nintendo Seal of Approval. Do all your kids have that?

Bowser: Well, DUH! Haven't you been listening? Do you want a good interview with a villain? THEN YOU HAVE TO LISTEN AND NOT CORRECT MY GRAMMAR!

Reporters: But may we see it?

Bowser: Sure. HEY KIDS! GET OVER HERE! the Koopalings; which are seven little Koopas, all with different hair; appear on command WHERE'S BOWSER JR.?

Ludwig: Has a very bad case of Teen Angst.

Bowser: THAT'S GREAT! NOW SHOW THIS MAN THE OFFICIAL NINTENDO SEAL OF APPROVAL!!!!!!!

Wendy: Can I not show mine?

Bowser: NO!

Wendy: But it's in…ugh…YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! ARGH! WAIT UNTIL CLAWDIA HEARS THIS!

Bowser: OK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOW IT!!!! EVERYONE ELSE, JUST SHOW IT!

the kids either turn around, lift their arms, break-dance, jump manically, play tic-tac-toe on their shells, or take out a licensed Nintendo game and pointed to the Seal of Approval. One of them took an official Nintendo Seal of Approval sticker and stuck it on his foot

Reporters: Oh my God! It's actually there, on the bottom of his feet! It's gold and says Nintendo Seal of Approval!

Bowser: Yup! NOW GO AWAY KIDDIES! Kiddies sulk away

Reporters: So, why do you want to be an EBIL villain?

Bowser: My dad was one. My granddad was one. My great-aunt was one. My great-aunt's sister's dog's friend's cousin's kid's friend's boyfriend's girlfriend's Chinese friend's doctor was one. And you get to be an important character in all the games! Plus, it's a neat hobby and I can like, totally beat people up and have a reason. I like power, too. Like seeing people saying "SPARE ME! PLEASE!" Yeah. That too.

Reporters: Were you tortured during your childhood?

Bowser: NAH! Cuz I'm a TOTALLY AWESOME GUY! YEAH! POWAH!

Reporters: We didn't ask you that. Did you ever treat Little Animals cruelly?

Bowser: Hell yeah! Swarming over my ankles…little…mumbles

Reporters: Did you set things on fire?

Bowser: No, DUH!

Reporters: Did you ever wet your bed, particularly late into your childhood?

Bowser: Err… mayb-

Reporters: All right, that's all the time we have. SO, what do you have to say?

Bowser: Er…thank you for the music? And where's that thing you where going to give me that guaranteed you stayed alive?

Reporters: You get a free mobile tanker with a pumping apparatus, containing fuel for aircrafts or military vehicles!

Bowser: …

Reporters: …And its trademark name is Bowser!

Bowser: Awesome!

Du du, that was an interesting article. I put it aside as I browsed for more things to read, but none caught my attention. Putting the articles back in order, I took the red rubber band and bound them again. I opened the drawer and put them back in. Flopping down on my bed, I looked at the digital clock perched near the lamp. The red numerals read 12:00 AM.

12:00. That's midnight.

MIDNIGHT.

What was I doing all this time to fall asleep at MIDNIGHT?!

Angry, I shut my eyes and tried to force myself to sleep. Eventually, the black enveloped me and I could think no more.

Hey kid.

…wha?

Come here.

…? Heh?

I said come here.

How can I? I'm a disembodied voice. YOU'RE a disembodied voice. I can't move.

Fine, then you can't hear what I have to say.

Who are you? And what do you have to say?

I am your conscience. I want to say-

3 That we are all members of this great community! I'm your feelings by the way. Whoo-hooo!

Argh. I'm your Common Sense. You use me the least around here, you know.

Bang! IIIIIII'M your ego! We're all awesome! Except your common sense and conscience. They're a bore.

I don't care if I'm a bore, I need to show you the road of regret and make you take a guilt trip.

Ah, there you go with the metaphors again.

That wasn't a metaphor; I truly want to show her the road of regret.

Bang! Guys, let's be reasonable…I'm the bestest one here. And Vivian. And her Feelings. Yep. Hey, Feelings! HIIII!

3 HIIII right back at'cha, Ego!

The amount of stupidity in this dream is amazing.

Sure, now some with me to the Road of Regret.

…You people…are MY conscience, feelings, common sense, and ego?

Correct. Now come with me to feel horribly blameworthy.

3 YUP! Group Hug! Hug hug!

Sadly, yes, I am your common sense and the rest of these lunatics are…

Bang! Yeah, bang-a-boomerang! Wh-hoo! I AM THE AWESOMEST EGO EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

…Ok, if you really are my common sense, conscience, feelings and ego, then I am screwed.

Nice of you to realize that.

Look, come with me for a second, will you?

3 No, don't go! Remember what happened the last time you took a guilt trip about that Icey Piranha you melted?

Now that I think about it…

3 As your feelings, it is my responsibility to make you feel good!

JUST COME. Please. It's important.

I'm going to have to go with my feelings on this one…I don't want to take a guilt trip.

Can I tell you what it's about?

3 NO! He's trying to trick you! Can't you see?

Perhaps it is of importance that she realizes what has the Conscience so worked up about. Goodness gracious, he's like a mad bee that has made no honey and needs to get some! Yes, I'm talking to YOU, author of this story. Write more words or else you shall fail on your first time! And you only ever get to try anything for the first time once, so make this count!

Yeah…this is starting to get weird.

The letters.

Which ones?

The ones you never-

3 Argh! I feel so betrayed! So you should too, Vivian! Feeeeeel betraaaaaayed! I tell you toooooo!

Bang! Yeah! You are too awesome and great to listen to those two losers. Come, sit in my chair. It's fluffy!

Ok, I'm waking up from this dream RIGHT NOW.

And how are you going to do that? Pinch yourself? That does not work. I believe you can feel pain in dreams, too, you know.

But doesn't common sense tell you to shock your brain out of it?

No, I do not tell myself that. I AM common sense.

"Wake up! Wake UP already!"

Peeking out, I expected someone to be over me saying 'Wake up!' but rather, there was no-one over me. Annabelle Lee was furiously shaking Lenore and slapping her to wake her up, but she slept through the entire ordeal. I watched the mushroom-headed humanoid thing take a magazine, roll it up, and hit her repeatedly with it, but to no avail.

"ARG! You dork! I am going to get some breakfast and if you don't wake up when I get back, YOU ARE GOING TO BE IN BIG TROUBLE MISSY!" With that, the Toad stormed out of the room, fists clenched. The pink dinosaur mumbled something before lifting her eyelids.

"Break fast? Sure…" Turning to me with laziness, she asked heavily, "Hey Vivian, are we gong to break fast? I want a break fast…"

"Sure?" I responded in a confused manner. Lenore nodded and pulled the sheets over her head.

"Can you get me some break fast? We all must break FAST." Shrugging, I raised myself up and looked at the window. Warm shafts of sunlight crawled in through it, illuminating the room. Turning towards the door, I opened it and walked into the hallway.

Ah, the familiarity of this place. The red carpeting still reminded me of the first time I had boarded this place: a race to an important relic, Crystal Star Number 6 in the ever aristocratic Poshley Heights.

Ding Dong, Ding Dong! The familiar bell of the intercom echoed through the rooms of the train.

"G'day, passengers, and welcome to the second day of international travel to Toad Town! We are currently ripping through the large desert between Rogueport and Toad Town, Riverside Desert! Yes, it's going fabulously here. We just wanted to alert you that if you could keep your little kids away from the engineering room, that would be just great. Thanks and bye!" After this, the voice was terminated and the elevator music resumed, playing an arrangement of the song Head Over Heels.


	7. The Day After You Came

Floating over to a door with a sign over it that said 'Dining Room' in pleasant letters; I grasped the handle and opened it.

The Dining Room still remained a sort of '50s-ish' atmosphere, looking more like a friendly diner than an elaborate restaurant. The booths on the sides of the room were mostly empty, except for one booth which contained a family of Bob-ombs. They were all chattering excitedly, and I saw their colors: gold, silver, and bronze. They looked really familiar to me…

Passing small quarters, I noticed some grease flying from it. Looking back, I saw what appeared to be some kind of fish working on frying various things at once. Half-tan and half-white, he was shaking something over an open fire and then takes a large fork and sticking it into something else. I knew him, he had lost a large pot once.

"Hi, Chef Shi-"

"DON'T GALK IN HERE!" he said in short Asian accent. His natural language being Cheep-Cheep, he mistook words for others at times. Brown spots were dappled across his puffy, chef's hat which was also lopsided. He flipped something flat and tan into the air and caught it in a blistering saucepan. Turning it over onto a neat, little plate, he opened a fridge and took out a can. He sprayed a spiral of whipped cream onto the pancakes, and then took another pan and poured a sticky, blue thing on it. Evening it out, he took out what looked to be a bond of some kind of short, stuffy meat. I gazed in admiration as he made it into a little mountain. Last, he took a bowl, poured something gold in it, and followed with some milk. He rang a bell, and a purple-haired Toad knocked me over, took the food, and dashed right on over to the family of Bob-ombs.

Getting up, I saw that Chef Shimi had flopped on over to watch them eat their meal. Following him, I looked over his shoulder as the waitress gave the pancakes with the weird sauce to the mustachioed, gold Bomb in the top hat, the sausage corkscrew to the silver Bomb in the pink Bowler hat and high heels. The bowl with Honey Bunches of Oats was handed to the anxious bronze Bob-omb kid.

As each started to consume his own food, I noticed that Chef Shimi was very nervous about the look son their faces. None looked all too promising, until at last…

"These," said the silver Bob-omb through a mouthful of meat," are some of the best sausages I have ever had the pleasure of tasting!"

"Indeed," the gold bomb nodded. "I love these pancakes. They are just so wonderfully fantastic. I can not believe that I have failed to eat them before. The blueberry sauce is incredible. A beauteous work of art, really."

"Honey bunches of oats rule!" said the bronze-colored bomb while throwing himself face down into his bowl, a puddle of milk forming beneath his bowl and enlarging by the second.

"Why, thank you sirs!" Chef Shimi said with an air of satisfaction. "We hope to see you aman- I mean, again. You are going to be eating dessert or no?"

I saw them looking at each other as if though deciding something very important that could change their lives forever. Dessert, or no dessert? They looked indecisive until:

"Nah. I'm full," shrugged the arm-less gold bomb as he pushed his plate toward sthe center of the table. It was unspeakably clean and he ate it all in less than a few minutes…

"Mhmhmhmhm!" said the Silver sphere through a mouthful of links.

"Honey, honey, honey bunches of oats! Are good for you! And your heeeaaaart! No heart disease! And that is really the reason why you should eat Honey Bunches of OOOOOOAAAAAATTTTS!" the kid sang. "Honey bunches, honey bunches, so magically good! Honey mixes with oats, to create a sensation of grandness that you must succumb tooooooo! Hoooooooooney Bunches of OOOOOAAAATTTTS! They're taller than Nintendo Wiis! A-whoop-de-doop-de-doop-de-do! Pa pa!" He continued to hum the upbeat instrumental.

The Waitress nodded respectfully before walking off to somewhere. She came back with a long piece of paper in her hand. Laying it gently on the table, she explained: "This is your bill."

The family looked at it, and from what I could see, it was an expensive breakfast. However, they were all laughing heartily, tears dripping from their eyes.

"Such a mere trifle for such fabulous food? My, oh my, this place gets better and better! Put it on my card," he snorted, pulling out a laminated Credit Card.

The girl took it, gave them a look of absolute oddness, and then walked off dozily. The family took a look at me, and with a bit of askance staring, recognized me.

"Hey! It's that girl! At that place! With that fighter dude!" chirped the Bronze little guy. The bowler hat girl took a better look and blinked in surprised.

"Yes, it IS that person who traveled with Gonzales," she said dubiously. "Let's see…Vivi was your name, was it not?"

I tried to ignore her not remembering my name, and said, "Vivian, yes. You are…Sylvia, correct?"

"Yes, you are," said the posh, sitting dynamite. The way that she spoke, she reminded me of a baroness. Well, that is what she was, right? I mean, her husband, Goldbob, was extraordinarily wealthy. Their kid, Bub…was a spoiled brat. As he sat there, eating his Honey Bunches of Oats messily, I felt a twinge of envy at how rich his parents were. Oh, if I had a little money…

"What have you been doing recently?" I asked in an effort to be friendly and initiate conversation.

"Ah, not much. Daddy bought me a couple of Nintendo Wiis, but it turns out that most of them were actually bootlegs, so now I can play 'Mii Sports' on my Nintendo 'Mii'. Ugh. Anyways, for kicks, we bought three Playstation 3s," he said in a matter-of-fact voice, as though you can buy PS3s every day. Once more, the green-eyed monster called jealousy stirred within me.

I just stared, but hoping not to appear rude, shook my head and responded in a forcefully nice manner," Well, that's great!"

"YUP!" giggled Bub. "I want to draw trains and things. I want to learn." I couldn't help but think it would be incredibly hard for him to draw if he had no arms or hands, but shrugged that off. They didn't seem to be into conversation, so I just decided to sit in a booth and wait for the waitress to walk up to me.

"Hello, like, welcome to Excess Express Meals!" The greeting shocked me and I turned around, surprised to see her there so quickly. She gave me a stupid, manufactured look that looked obviously phony. I saw her hand me a menu. I browsed quickly, then recalled that Lenore didn't give me any specific orders. Urgh. Well, she probably needed something hot, so…

"Um, some…Espresso, I guess. I want a cup of Hot Chocolate, if you please," I ordered. She finished scribbling down my order on her notebook, nodded, and took the menu back.

"Your order will TOTALLY be ready in a few minutes." With that, she skipped off merrily to tell Chef Shimi what he was to create.

Waiting patiently, I wondered just if Espressos were Hot…or too hot. Or too cold. I wasn't exactly…well, how do I say it…knowledgeable about my coffee types. I just drank whatever was available. But no, we have mochas, lattes, and cappuccinos. Bah…

"Your coffee and hot chocolate is like, HERE!" said the annoyingly preppy voice of the prat. Turning around, I saw that bogus smile as she gave me two cups. "That will totally be like, ten coins!!" she said as she handed me the receipt.

Taking some of the gold coins out of my hat, I handed them to her, she smiled AGAIN and bounced off singing the latest trendy song from 'totally generic boy band #151' and covered by 'half naked female singer #459124591'. Getting up, I slurped some of my Hot Chocolate, careful not to spill any of it. Taking the espresso, I floated up to my room, carefully balancing the cups scalding liquid.

Knocking on the door with my elbow, I waited for the door to open impatiently. At last, it opened, and I rushed in, placing the cups on the table. Settling down on my bed, I saw Lenore was still groggy as she reached for her cup of espresso impatiently. Annabelle Lee sat down next to her as she spat it out all over the floor -and Annabelle's morning clothes.

"UH! LENOOOOORE!" the Toad Girl screeched as she gaped at her clothes stained with varying sizes of splotches of brown.

"This is an espresso!" gasped the Birdo as she spat and breathed. "It's too hot!"

"You didn't tell me what you want to eat or drink, so I assumed you would want something to wake you up, so I ordered coffee. And I don't know about different types of coffee," I added innocently.

Lenore was too busy hacking blistering liquid to answer. Annabelle was too furious at Lenore to scream at me for giving her the coffee. Robert was probably still asleep, so he would have no idea what was happening.

"Heh! Heh! Heh!" The reptile placed a hand over her throat, which was more of a red hue rather than pink due to espresso that had dribbled down it. "Pain…pain," she squeaked.

The toad had disappeared from sight. Looking around, I did not see her anywhere. I apologize to Lenore: "I am really sorry…I had no idea…" Gulping, I looked at the Hot chocolate of which half had been my breakfast, and I suggested out of gallantness; "Would you like my hot chocolate and I'll take your espresso?"

"Ha-hah-hawt? No…not…just no." Relieved, I took my chocolate and drank it down. Mmm, the sweet, awesome taste of melted Marshmallows…mmm…those devilishly good Marshmallows…

"Robert's not awake yet, is he?" I questioned. Lenore shook her head in response. I had not seen many Shy Guys before, so I decided to ask her some more: "Are Shy Guys usually heavy sleepers?" She shrugged.

"Subcon…is the land of dreams…you don't sleep there…night didn't exist in that forsaken place," she wheezed in a tired fashion. She laid down on her pillow, curling up with no sheets. She looked so comical, like an overgrown child freezing to death with nothing to cover herself with…wait, that's comical?

I sat there and waited. While I waited, I thought…how would Toad Town be like? This is a totally new land. Different from the Rogueport areas…I knew nobody there. This was all to escape from that guy.

I shivered in the mere memory of him. After the defeat of the Queen of the Shadow Wraiths, I had not seen him, although he was an actor in one of Flurrie's plays. Flurrie…she was a good friend of mine. The ability of him to transform into anything, requiring just a bit of paper, maybe…and even to transform others…the latter was unique to him. He never got a role as himself. Always someone else. I imagine that must take a toll on your self-confidence.

And then the letters came to me…he started sending me letters, asking randomly how I was and how nice the weather was and the likes. I ignored them. He HAD been trying to kill and attack us a few months earlier, and had even stalked me and Mario various times; in Twilight Town, where he was initially met, on this very train, under the guise of a famous actor, and in the Palace of Shadow, the kingdom of the formerly mentioned Shadow Queen.

I recalled that in my dream, my conscience, or at least a personification of him, had told me to feel regret over some letters that I never something. Never sealed? Sent? Answered?

Yes, I never sent back even a simple 'I'm not interested' or 'NO' to him. SO they kept coming. So the steady flow continued. Until at last, I left. I believe that was when he started to stalk me…

Crap, my feelings were right. My conscience tricked me into feeling guilty over that. Bah. Well, that boat's sailed. He was annoying either way… but that was mean of me…I would probably feel really bad if I had sent letters to someone asking to talk to them, and did my best to appear neat; I recall his letters had very nice, orderly print, compared to his usual smudgy handwriting; and they never responded…especially out of spite.

But I had reasons. I told the imaginary audience of my mind that consisted of my ego, common sense, conscience, and feelings that he had indeed, committed those acts to get revenge…the acts of attacking and stalking us. And he turned the Twilighters into pigs. The People of Twilight Town fell under a curse in which the bell would ring and one of the Twilighters would morph into a pig…that was pretty sick of him. They were all so innocent and cute…

The door opened, and in walked what appeared to be a rather embarrassed Annabelle holding some clean clothes and a medium-sized, black little…thing holding her by the arm. Letting go sharply, the white-faced thing looked in my direction and spoke, "Don't be letting her go into the bathroom without knocking. I was doing business." Turning around, the black thing left.

"I swear, I was going to change, and I didn't hear anything, I open the door, and he was just sitting there, pooping…it wasn't my fault, I couldn't hear-"

"Ought to have thumped…"

"Well, yes, but- Robert, is that you?"

"Meh…yes, it is my presence." Getting off my bed and looking up, I saw him just staring down, aware of what was happening the whole time. The red little man looked at the girl who looked around and just said "NOBODY LOOK!" Robert dived into his sheets, covering his face completely, and Lenore hid her head under her pillow. I followed suit and faced the wall with my hat pulled over my eyes along with the bed sheets. After some time, Lenore asked in Annabelle was done, and she hissed, "NO!"


	8. Waterloo Alternate Mix

Soon, she was done and permitted us to be able to just look around again. Looking at the room itself, nothing much had changed, although Anna had cleaner clothes now. Bored, I stared at the ceiling. The day did not look promising. Rather, it looked boring and full of nothing special. How many days left? The train arrived at the 26th, and…er…it's the 25th…so one more day of total boredom. In an effort to start some interesting conversation, I asked out loud randomly, "What was that black thing that walked in here a few seconds ago?"

"That particular creature was of the Ninji species. They are generally rather peaceful, some reside in Starborn Valley in the Mushroom Kingdom in order to shelter and cherish infant stars, but other than that, I do not identify much information about those individuals," Robert responded. "That one was rather lofty for a Ninji, though. Usually, they're about my dimension, perhaps a smidge taller."

"Whatever it was," Annabelle said in a humiliated fashion, "I don't want to run into it again!"

"Yeah, of course," Lenore snorted. She started to giggle as if though she had thought of something so unusually, spectacularly funny, it could cure the burns she felt.

"What is it?" asked the Toad. The reptile let out a squeal.

"N-nothing," she sniggered with her hands to her snout. The human-like toad didn't believe her. She gave her a skeptic look, almost pressuring her to reveal some kind of secret.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked again.

"Just that…are you sure that you walked in on him accidentally? Are you lying about wanting to see him? You better not be lying to us about him!"

Annabelle shrieked heatedly as Lenore started to bounce on the bed. Bored out of my wits by the way that the conversation had degenerated into worthless random comments, I tried to spark another real topic. "So, what are you going to do when you get to Toad Town?"

"I believe you already know what I am going to be doing," Robert said pompously. "I'll be existing there. It was purely a stopover here."

"I want to see Chanterelle perform," admitted Annabelle. "She is such a talented singer…and she's a mezzo-soprano like me!"

"I'm a tourist as well," agreed Lenore. "Wandering about, seeing the sights, find some new aunts to add to my list of jeers against Birdos –"

"List of weeks against what?" interrupted the red-haired girl. The pink reptile rolled her eyes.

"Do you know that in the dream world of Subcon, there is a Birdo named…well, Birdo? Some really stupid people thought he was a girl. He fought Mario. Mario can't speak good Subcon-ish. That Birdo spoke Subcon-ish. Mario misunderstood what he said and thought that he was a mentally disturbed guy in drag or something, the little…"

Annabelle snapped her fingers. "I remember that! It was even in Wikipedia! Seriously, you type in Birdo, and then it comes out…"

"It was probably a mistranslation," growled the Birdo. "Not everyone can speak Subcon-ish…he didn't say 'I love you'. He said, 'I'm gonna get you.' How you interpret that message is up to whoever reads it."

"But he was a guy. And he wore pink," pointed out Annabelle.

"He was born that way. You can't change your skin color," hissed Lenore.

"So it was all just a huge misunderstanding?" questioned the girl.

"That's right. Mario reported that he didn't understand what he said and that it sounded like that, someone made up that story, the press got a old of that, and now, Birdos are famous for something that was never true in the first place!" Slapping her knees, Lenore added, "Poor Birdo. People are constantly making fun of him because of that. All because Mario can't speak a certain language."

"That's the real story…but what's the list of…whatevers?"

"It's a list of taunts people make against Birdos," explained Lenore. "I memorize them and write them down. I feel that I should do it so when people realize this was all just a huge misunderstanding, I can shove it in their faces. Get it right, Birdo NEVER thought he was a girl, he always realized and knew that he was a guy, and he's not a jerk, either. ARGH."

"You collect taunts…" Annabelle Lee backed off. "Ok…that's…great."

"It's a neat hobby, and I can use some of them against other people," defended Lenore violently. She then turned to face me. "What are you doing, Vivian?"

"I'm going to be using that ticket I got through E-Mail and visit Shy Guy's Toy Box on Monday…and then I'll just do general sightseeing stuff…" I said plainly. Everyone looked around the room. We were all so clearly BORED.

In order to pass the time, I decided to listen to some kind of music. Taking out my cell phone out of my hat, I browsed through my list of songs until at last I decided on an instrumental track from an Album. I listened to the tune, just staying calm, while Lenore counted the scratches on the wood of the bed. Annabelle Lee was playing cards with apparently no one. Robert appeared to have gone back to sleep.

EXCITEMENT. SCHOOL. TWO WORDS WHO DID NOT GO TOGETHER. YAR.

"I am going to get up," I announced out of boredom. And so, I did get up, slowly and lazily. I don't know if I'm tired or not, but either way, I'm going to do something. Opening the door out of the room, something bumps into me and I fall down. Ugh, now my sides hurt…looking down, I see an orange little sphere holding a little sheet of paper…Bub?

"Hi Vivi. I was just on my way to show the train's engineer my drawing of a train. Want to see?" he asked. I shrugged, and he showed me a simple little drawing of a train, slick and fast, with a black Shy Guy driving it. He wore a serious, dark look on his face, contrasting sharply with the radiant glow of the train's spectrum of colors.

"It's really nice," I told him. "The contrast between the black Shy Guy and the train makes him stand out more, I believe."

"Thank you! I hope he likes it!" said an excited Bub. "I hope that black Ninja thing doesn't see me. He's such an old grouch. Ugh. He just kicked someone for knocking too loud!" After finishing, he sped off happily. Hmm.

I decided to get some lunch to eat mainly because of I was bored, not hungry. Going into the diner again, I sat and was once more served by that unusually perky waitress.

"May I totally take your order?" she asked pleasantly while I skimmed through the menu. Salads? No. Steak? Nah. Fish? Still nah. "Hamburgers? Sure.

"Um, one hamburger…plain, nothing on it." The purple-haired lady gave me an odd look.

"Nothing? Ok, I guess…what will you have to drink?"

"Sprite." She nodded and went off to tell Chef Shimi. Activity was slightly higher now, but nothing special. The Ninji wasn't here. Thank goodness, he'd probably kick me for not sitting specially or something.

A few indolent minutes later, my hamburger was served. It certainly didn't look as appetizing as in the pictures, all fresh and plump and juicy with every condiment sprayed over it. No, hamburgers certainly weren't the Chef's strong point. As I took a small bite, it wasn't bad. I finished it rather quickly and stared into the abyss until the Waitress came back.

"Ok, totally large thanks to you for dining here with us, we hope to see you again!" She gave me the receipt, I took out some coins, slapped them on the table, and left. Well, at least I wasn't hungry anymore.

The cabin was still dull as ever. I couldn't take this anymore. I slithered into my bed, and closed my eyes. When I opened them, the scene outside had changed from the bright blue of daylight to the black of the night. I couldn't help but want to have slept some more…

"The diner starts doing official 'night business' in a few minutes," Lenore said randomly. "I'm bored, so I'll probably visit. Who's coming?"

"Is this one of those things where people do stupid things after drinking too much?" Annabelle questioned cautiously.

"Yes," said the wary dinosaur.

"I'm in."

"And you two?" Lenore asked the remaining people. I thought about it. It didn't seem too special, but maybe it could cure me of the horrible dullness disease.

I responded with, "Sure, why not?"

That left Robert. Everyone looked up at him expectantly, but surprisingly, he shook his head.

"If it is similar at all to the Inns of Rogueport, I would prefer not to visit. I have had an adequate amount of that practice, thank you very much." Lenore looked as if though she were about to argue, but the red-haired Toad jabbed her sharply with her shoulder.

"Well, it starts in a few minutes, so whoever's interested, let's go," stated the dinosaur, pointing towards the digital clock.


	9. Out of Sight

Getting up, I followed her down the hall to the Dining Room. It certainly was packed tonight. Loads of people had gotten drinks, and everyone was lively and festive. Lights trimmed the edges of the roof, and a candle was placed on every table. It looked as if though someone was to hold a very elaborate party here.

Following suit, I sat in a booth with the Toad and Reptile, waiting for something to happen. Some people were counting down the time until midnight:

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One! WHOO!" suddenly, a very large group started to yell happily, bouncing in glee.

"What happens during the night?" I asked Lenore, who seemed to be knowledgeable about the subject.

Turning to me, she started: "They do a show type of thing, first of all, with a singer and stuff. Then they telecast a random sports game which people are playing to entertain random people. In the end, they do this shiny thing in which Ravens bounce all around the room, shake everyone's hands, and then the lights start to change color, and that's it. It's really just a way to pass the time."

"I'll say," I snorted. Someone had started to go forward, but I couldn't see who it was since my hair blocked the view. I took some of it and moved it out of my sight, but then it bothered my shoulders. I held it up and then let it go, causing my pink hair to cascade to its full length. It was a Toad singer who was in the middle holding a microphone. A rose was held firmly in her dark hair, and she spared no expense with an exquisite, violet dress. Annabelle squealed.

"Oh my gosh it's Chanterelle! YAAAAAAAY! SHE'S HERE SHE'S HERE SHE'S HERE SHE'S HERE SHE'S HERE SHE'S HERE SHE'S HERE SHE'S HERE!" She started to hyperventilate rapidly, and I had to slap her with my gloves to get her to calm down slightly. Geez, people go wild upon seeing singers.

"Hello," said the Toad Woman in a deep, feminine voice with a slight German accent to it, "I'm Chanterelle and I'm going to be singing live tonight. Unfortunately, sue to unforeseeable circumstances, the music shall be a playback. Don't worry, though, I'm sure that even though you won't get to see the musicians who broke their own instruments, you'll still have a great time aboard the Excess Express!"

The crowd started to cheer rapidly, and with that, a Koopa produced a microphone stand and placed it in front of Chanterelle, who took the microphone form it. She then started to sing:

"Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me,

but I won't feel blue

Like I always do

Cus somewhere in the crowd there's you…"

The actual music started now, and it was soft and magical, to put it in a way. It was indescribable with words.

"I was sick and tired of everything when I called you last night from Glasgow

All I do is eat and sweep and sing

Wishing every show was the last show

As you imagine I was glad to hear you're coming. Suddenly I feel alright.

And it's gonna be so different when I'm on the stage toniiiiiiiight…"

She continued to sing the rest of the song, uninterrupted, and she certainly put on quite a show. She was great live; Annabelle Lee couldn't stop obsessing over her randomly. Some men started to whistle at her, but she only waved and kept on singing. When she reached the end of the song, Chanterelle bowed and got a standing ovation.

"Thank you," was all she said. Some people begged for an encore, but she only shook her head sadly. "I am sorry, but I was told to do only one song here for my listeners, and I can't disobey the people who hired me." Some people threw dangerous glances at anyone related to the management, and people were certainly wistful she had to leave so fast.

However, soon the same Koopa who produced the microphone was now setting up a Television. He must have been part of tech support because his shell was gray, and he was wearing a badge that read quite clearly 'Technical Support'. Stepping away, the screen flickered as an image of an announcer faded into view. His words were inaudible, and the screen switched to an image of a group of people at a green area. Some Bob-ombs were at one side and at the other were some Turtles wearing protective Armor of different colors. At the center was a ball.

The sharp, tinny noise of a whistle tore through the silence, startling everybody and starting the Soccer Game. Suddenly, both teams were trying to get the ball. AT last, a blue walking Bomb managed to get a hold of the monochromatic ball, and was kicking it around to the side of the field. Various of the Koopas in protective Armor were chasing after him, some having hammers tucked away in their belts, others Boomerangs. Some had no hammers, but the red helmets they bore symbolized they were not to be trifled with.

The blue Bob-Omb tried to score a goal, but a Boomerang intercepted the kick, sending both the ball and the boomerang flying randomly in any direction. Behavior turned erratic, both teams scrambling to get the sphere with the support –and hate- of the crowd here. It appeared that the sound was turned off, because I hear nothing and Lenore said that they should have turned it on.

At last, something interesting happened. A Hammer Bro head-butted a Bulky Bob-Omb, which was a very large, pink bomb, to get the orb. That fellow got given a Red Card, but various people were talking about the event, saying it was SO worth the Red Card.

The game was unpredictable, with goals being scarce and strange actions not. Everything from on-field explosions to broken hammers happened in that very game, and I couldn't help but think it resembled more of a battle than a soccer match; but it could have just been me. It ended with the Koopa Brotherhood (as I learned they were called) team winning and the Bob-Omb team (nobody mentioned their name team) losing 3-2.

"Gimme that!" The voice of a child was unexpected in this, and everyone turned to the source. The Ninji form before was clutching a sheet of paper, and Bub was off his seat, is parents watching, as he begged the stranger for his drawing.

"The engineer said he wanted me to sign it first! Give it back!" the spoiled brat asked. The Ninji took a pace backwards and shook his head.

"He probably didn't want it. I do. Give it to me." The family of Bub was furious.

"If our son refuses to give you that drawing, live with the choice and return it to him!" demanded his father.

"Don't make a scene. This can all go smoothly with no problems if you give back the work of art," the mother suggested. The Ninji backed off even more.

"Yeah right," he snorted, and ran away. Some people tried to stop him by throwing themselves at him, but they all missed. He ran straight out, Bobbington and Sylvia on his tail and poor Bub in tears behind.

"He wanted my picture! The train engineer wanted my picture!" he sobbed as he plodded pathetically out.

For a while, silence held a firm grip over the room, everyone equally hushed under its claw, until gossip spread like wildfire on a dry forest. Everyone had something to say. What I had to say was much too obscene and gross to say in front of little kids, so I simply won't mention it. Lenore and Annabelle were giving each other unbelievable looks, as if what had just happened was the result of a dream fueled by illegal substances. Some events that followed the thievery of the drawing made me believe it certainly was.

A bunch of Ravens waddled into the room. Short, squat black little birds, with small yellow beaks and large, pudgy feet all lined up. Some feathers stood up on their heads, but they were unbelievably smooth other than that. The squishing of their feet stopped and only their breathing could be heard.

Then they came.

Two of the Raven started to do a weird bounce. It was just a random dance, nothing more, but then some more started to twirl around them. Then more formed underneath, swirling. Some hopped on top of them and did a pirouette on their heads, others spiraled beneath. The scene was so cute and innocent, it made you feel poignant for the birds. They were working their feathers off, and I had no idea what they were paid, if paid at all…but then again, if this was what they enjoyed doing…

The lights came next. Trimmed across the edges of the ceiling, they started to shimmer various colors, rendering an iridescent glow across the room. People marveled at the effect and the penguin look-alikes, who were now going across the room and shaking hands with people with their large feet. After the entire thing, there was a short amount of noiselessness, and then people exploded into applause. I joined in too, but lightly, since most of the evening consisted of the soccer game which was rather creative, to put it in a way, but not my type of thing. Annabelle was clapping her heart out and almost fell on top of the Birdo.

After that, we got up and left. Obviously, Lenore and the Toad were chattering about the events.

"Can you believe Chanterelle was there?" gasped Annabelle amazingly. "She like, never does private shows! And live singing! I was so lucky to see her!"

"That red card that dude got was worth it," commented Lenore. "It was so awesome, that style of just ramming into him…"

"That was really funny. I hope to see something like that again."

"I think this is our last day on the train," said Lenore wistfully. We walked silently after that, into our rooms. A very light snoring told us that Robert was asleep, but that didn't stop Annabelle from screeching "OH MY GOSH CHANTERELLE WAS THERE!"

"Eh?!" said a startled Robert. "Who is it?"

"It's us," Lenore said excitedly. "You really should have come, it was so fun, Chanterelle was there, they showed a telecast of a Soccer Game, the Ravens did this really cool show…"

"That's ostentatious," mumbled the masked, little man in red. "You realize it's three AM, right?"

Everyone on the floor looked at the clock. The digits 3:02 AM were printed clearly across the screen, and had changed recently to 3:03 AM.

"Whoops," Lenore said submissively. "Well, I guess we better go to sleep-"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE CHANTERELLE WAS THERE OH MY GOSH I CAN'T

I DON'T BELIEVE IT I'M GOING TO FAINT SERIOUSLY-"

"Annabelle," I said clearly, shaking her. "YOU SAW HER. GET OVER IT." She was till shaking with happiness as she climbed the bedside, but thankfully, we heard no more of her crazed fan talk, although it sounded as if thought she was repeating the word "Chanterelle" to herself over and over again.

Climbing into bed myself, I was filled with a sense of foreboding. Tomorrow, I would get off in a new place called Toad Town with three people. After we checked into a hotel, I would be alone. On the run. From that guy. I would be going to Shy Guy's Toy box tomorrow, however, and the thoughts of that pushed the other, uncomfortable thoughts out of my head and into the very back of my mind. I slept with thoughts of odd toys and whimsical devices being operated by little Shy Guys.


	10. Something

The next day, I woke with a start to realize that through the window, the scenery was changing. I saw patches of green in the desert, little scrubs growing in the hot sun. Lenore was, as usual, still asleep, but Annabelle was getting ready to leave. Strangely enough, Robert copied Lenore's schedule rather than Annabelle's and was still dozing the hours off. I didn't have much to do, so I sat expectantly.

"Can you believe it?" I said after some time. Annabelle tossed a quick look in my direction before turning back to pack her bags. "We're going to a strange land alone. I'm kind of nervous, really. Are you?"

"Not much," the Toad said as she stuffed some books into her case.

"What hotel are you going to be staying in?" I queried.

"Same one as Lenore: Toad Town Toad House," she said fleetingly. She put all her cases together and inspected the room one last time for any of her stuff before sitting on the floor.

"I've got it all," she said. "Packed away. We'll probably be arriving in a few minutes…"

"Better wake up these two, then," I suggested. She nodded and started to kick Lenore's bed. She awoke with a start, screaming "NO GRANDMA NOT THE KILLER MONKEYS!", which woke Robert up, too. The Birdo and Shy Guy looked confused.

Annabelle explained, "We're going to be getting off in some minutes, so you better start packing."

"I overslept?!" Robert said in a cynical tone. "I can't consider it!" He and Lenore got into a packing frenzy. Having everything I needed stored safely in Hammerspace, and not needing much, really, I just sat there, amusing myself by watching Lenore accidentally hit Robert with a sock.

Ding Dong, Ding Dong! "Hello there, this is the final day of international travel, folks! We've come a long way, and I hope that you've enjoyed your trip. We had some unforeseen actions take place last night, we're trying to straighten the tension, but other than that, we've had a great, totally smooth ride. Thank you for choosing the Excess Express!" The voice hung up, and Robert just finished organizing his one case while Lenore rushed to try and fit the rest of her stuff into her own case.

"There, done," she sighed and sat on her bed. "I was so tired…from last night…"

"You know," Annabelle interrupted, "We should have some kind of way to contact each other when we're gone. I think we've made really good friends. We should give each other our phone number and e-mail address and stuff."

"That's not a bad idea," I commented. She whipped out a pencil and a piece of paper, and scribbled her address and phone number onto the paper, and passed it to me. I put my own and passed it to Lenore, who wrote hers and passed it to Robert, who wrote his and passed it back to Annabelle Lee, who copied it down for herself. I got it again and inserted the numbers under my contacts on my DS. Lenore got to archive the information, and then Robert just kept the piece of paper.

"Ok, remember, us three are staying at the Toad Town Toad House," recited Annabelle. "You're living in the house…"

"Near Shy Guy's Toy Box. It's long and brown. The house containing Shy Guy's Toy Box is a small, yellow one. Oh, yes, in order to get to Shy Guy's Toy box, open a hidden door in the yellow house and find the secret room. Jump on the springboard and you'll jump into a little decorated box. That is Shy Guy's Toy Box. To get out, jump on the same yellow springboard," illustrated the Shy Guy.

"Hey, you didn't use extraordinarily long words," pointed out Lenore.

"I desired to have my directives heard very clearly," he scoffed.

Looking outside, I saw we were entering a station, and soon everyone else was gathered around the window. The Excess Express was slowing down; passing a much smaller train that was overwhelmed by the total awesomeness of this one. Soon, we came to a halt, and that pathetic train was behind us. We had come to a total stop inside a rather minute white building.

Ding Dong, Ding Dong! "Hey, welcome back! We have come to a stop now, and you can get off now. Just do it in a clear, orderly fashion. Thank you again for riding the Excess Express!"

While everyone else in the room swarmed towards the door, I went towards the drawer, opened it, and searched for the newspaper about the Criminal Mind. I found it, and I took it out of the rubber band collection and put it in my hat. Slowly it shrank and faded away from view into the depths of the dimension of hammerspace.

I got out rapidly, and looked about. A horde of people had poured out of the rooms and into the halls, all pushing to find the door. I stayed away, not wanting to get caught up in the torrent of people. Soon, the door was opened and the crowd decreased quickly in size, people flowing fluidly out of the train. At last, the chance for me to leave appeared, and so I dashed out of the door.

Toad Town was certainly different from Rogueport.

The first thing I noticed was that the grand majority of the people were Toads. Nearly everyone had a mushroom cap on their head, and the different colors of their spots were almost the only way to distinguish them apart.

Another thing I noticed was that the area I arrived in was very clean. Not a bit of garbage anywhere, compared to Rogueport, where people dumped their trash in the alleyways. Floating north, I passed a small and large field with pigs in them. Wait, pigs?! Turning back and leaning on the fence, I saw a bunch of pigs, identical in shape to the ones that he had turned the citizens of Twilight Town…but these were different in colors. There was your standard pink, but I saw Tiger striped pigs hustling about, hiding in the shadows of dry grass to conceal their own shape. I saw Silver Pigs, flashing their shiny hides off to all the people staring. A purple pig with a bug white '?' mark on it caught my attention. The question mark pig stayed by its lonesome, looking around occasionally.

"Do YOU like Li'l Oinks?" a Toad with Red spots on his mushroom cap asked. I looked at the pen.

"Aren't these pigs?" I queried as the Tiger Li'l Oink sniffed my hand with his large snout.

"No, no, no, we call these Li'l Oinks," he explained. "They are really nice and playful creatures. You want one?" The Tiger Li'l Oink started to lick my hand, and threw himself towards it.

"Sure, why not?" I shrugged. The Toad looked excited and made me turn around.

"See that shack there? With the pole hanging out and the huge Li'l Oink on the top? That's where you get Li'l Oinks. You give whoever's inside Ten Coins, and they allow you to breed them. You then jump and hit the pole, and an egg will come out of the giant Li'l Oink and go down the track onto the little platform you see there." He proceeded to point to a large track that led from the big pig to a platform resting on the fence.

"Hit the egg with something and it will hatch into a Li'l Oink! It will go into the pen and you can raise it and stuff. However," his voice turned ominous here," you can't go into the pen, or else the Li'l Oinks will go away. They get scared easily, and will resort to their instincts to get out of a place they think is unsafe. This also means everyone else's Li'l Oinks inside get frightened and rush off, so you don't want that to happen. To get them to come to you, click your fingers or something. You can take them out if they let you- just lean over the fence, pick yours up, and put it down. Easy."

"What happens if there are too many Li'l Oinks?" I asked nervously, looking at the pen, which already had a large number of Li'l Oinks sitting there.

"Sad, really. One of your own shall leave. He will leave an item in his stead, however; could be a mushroom to eat, some jelly or jam, whatever he wants to. Bu it's not worth losing an Oink in my opinion," he said with an undertone of sadness. He looked wistfully off into the distance.

"So I just pay 10 coins, hit the egg, let it hatch, and watch it? No feeding to do?" I asked in amazement. He shook his head wisely.

"None at all! They feed themselves on the grass. Live for VERY long times, they do. This grass grows back really fast, which is why we have to cut it so much. We just let it grow wildly for the two Pens however. The pigs really like it." Indeed, the grass looked somebody's uncombed hair in the pens, and the pigs were munching at it wildly.

"Question: How can you get your Pig-"

"It's a Li'l Oink," he corrected sharply.

"-Li'l Oink in the other pen?"

"Initially, they'll stay in that small one other there. It's not too bad. If you want them to go to that big field there," he said, pointing to an extraordinarily large pen, "just pick them up and put them there. No problem."

"That's all?" I asked. "Wow, they sound cute. Let me get one!" The Toad looked excited as I went up to the shack thing. I placed 10 coins on the table, and a shady hand wiped them away. The pole above me changed color from gray to white. I jumped and hit it with my head. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt, and the pole was knocked to the left. The giant Li'l Oink on the shack started to vibrate, squashed itself, and then regained full height. A white egg rolled down the track and then onto the platform.

Looking at the egg, I wondered what was it I was supposed to do. That Toad said to hit it, but…well, maybe I could get a refund if it didn't work. I gave it a punch, and it cracked. Out of it came a white blur which landed in the field. I looked at the egg's remains. The shards of it were wet with something, and I felt disappointed…but then I saw a White Li-l Oink pacing up to me, a curious look in his eyes. I patted his head, and he grunted in joy.

"So this is a Li'l Oink," I said while patting the pale Pig. "I should give you a name. What about…Chiaroscuro?" The pig squealed in acceptance. "Your nickname could also be Chia. Or Roscuro. Or Claire." The Li'l Oink looked confused now, but I just slapped his head lightly.

"Ok, um, enjoy your time here or something," I said awkwardly as the swine tried to climb out. I hovered North, and passed the odd shack.

This was the main, central area of Toad Town, it appeared, as well as the busiest. Lots of people were swarming around busily, going into houses at random, chatting with others, everyone was doing something. Making my way past a huge crowd, I looked at a Sign. Reading it, I saw that it read "Post Office, Merlon the Seer's House, Toad house North". I continued going in that direction until I saw a giant, blue tent with what appeared to be a twisting, rotating blue roof, reminiscent of a Carousel. Across the street was the Post Office, and the Toad House.

The building was much smaller than the Inns of the Rogueport Areas; Fahr Outpost, the chilly wilderness I had been in, was almost isolated from the outside world and yet boasted superior architecture to this. It actually was more of a Motel than an Inn, but I went inside anyways.

It was quaint, I'll tell you that. The receptionist wore old-fashioned styled clothing, complete with Tie-Dye clothing and Retro Grandma Glasses. You know, those pointy ones with the black frame and clear glass? Well, she stood in front of a door and behind a desk. To her left was another door, looking the same as the one she was apparently guarding.

"Hello," I told the Toad Girl. "I would like to stay here for…a couple of nights. Not sure how many…"

"Oh, that's OK," she smiled and said in this incredibly strange voice that me made think she was on something. "We allow people who don't know how long they're going to stay to stay as long as they wish."

I wasn't used to this so…this was odd… "Um, ok then. How much will a room cost?"

She now had a confused, bizarre look on her face, then smiled warmly again and shook her head. "Silly, we don't use money here. We believe that having people staying here is more than enough compensation for us."

"But how do you pay your bills?" I questioned. I didn't expect the No Money policy to be true, just a silly rumor that took on a more serious shape.

"People are more than willing to donate money to us," she explicated. "The goodness of their hearts helps us do well to others. We also donate some of the donated money to other charities. Money is not an ailment to us, rather, it's a side dish to complete the huge dinner of helpfulness!"

Her odd analogies were starting to scare me, as well as the fact that her voice sounded similar to a Sitar, so I nodded quickly to show her I understood, and then inquired, "Which is my room?"

"Allow me to check." She went into the door behind her, and came out a few minutes later. "You get 5.A."

"There's just one floor?' I let out that question. I HAD to let that out.

"Yes. We are more than large enough to house everyone, and we do not require more than one floor to help those that require a good night's sleep and food." Her soft, strange tone of voice suggestive of a Sitar was so annoying…so I just nodded again and went through the door.

There was a hallway, like always, and finding my room was very easy; it was one of the first ones. I was kind of disappointed when I entered my room, however. There was only a very small TV, a short bed, and one table. That's it, the rest of the room was empty. No fridge, no phone, no nothing. I wondered just how would this world function with little use of money?

"Hi, Vivian!" called out a voice. Turning around, I see that Lenore and Annabelle Lee are coming out of their own rooms…followed by Robert. The trio walked up to me expectantly. I examine them: Lenore seemed to have just taken a bath, and looked rather shiny compared to Annabelle, who looked scruffier for some reason. The crimson-colored Shy Guy remained just as he was.

"Er, hello?" I say awkwardly. I was not expecting to go to Shy Guy's Toy Box with others, rather, I would go on the trip alone. They all looked at me as if though I was taking them on some kind of magical mystery tour or something.

"Well, are we not traversing to the Toy Box of those impish Shy Guys?" questioned Robert, though he said the last few words undeniably through gritting teeth.

"I…uh…how do I say this?" I pondered, trying not to disappoint them too badly. "I…well, I wasn't exactly planning on having company to go with me to Shy Guy's Toy Box." I expected them to look crestfallen, mutter 'that's ok', and wander off, tears dripping down their checks. Rather, I got the binary opposite: they looked as if though I had done them a huge favor…or rather, they had done ME a huge favor.

"Well, now you have got company!" sang the glossy, pink reptile in a fake, merry voice.

"Besides," the Toad added, "We want to see it, too! I'm pretty sure that ticket can count for more than one."

"And if it doesn't, I'll be SURE to persuade them EVER so gently…" Lenore threatened, punching her fist against her palm. Backing off a bit, I decided not to suffer the wrath of an annoyed Birdo and let them come with me.

"Alright, you can come then," I sighed submissively. The three of them did not seem to grab the weariness in my voice, and so I got out of the Toad House and looked around.

"Which way do we go?" inquired Annabelle Lee, looking around in many directions. Robert took the lead.

"I have essentially been there, so I shall guide you lot." Lenore audibly scoffed, and I actually couldn't help but agree he sounded rather pompous on the issue, but either way, we all followed him.

I admired how neat Toad Town was in the meantime. Various people kept gardens and were working on them, sitting out on the splotchy soil, tenderly patting the Earth around a newly planted perennial with a small, shovel-like instrument. Some of the gardeners looked up at us and waved, despite our being complete strangers to them. I waved back, sporting a manufactured smile just like theirs. They seemed to explode with joy and went back to tending their clusters of blossoms.

"If I recall, the vicinity containing Shy Guy's Toy Box is near the wharf…I could be erroneous, of course, since I have not visited in years…" he trailed off, trying to recall exactly why he did not visit Shy Guy's Toy Box in years. We kept on walking, with no topic of conversation to unite us. "You know, they say that the house that guards the Toy Box of Shy Guys is resistant to the elements."

"Seriously?" I asked curiously. "It wouldn't burn down or get blown away?"

"Not if the rumors are true, it won't," snorted Lenore.

"Indeed, they say it's protected by the magic of the Toy Box that resides within it," Robert said informatively. At that moment, I smelled something murky.

"Do you…" I started to say, but the fragrance was lost, and I could not detect it.

"Do we what?" inquired Lenore, looking back. I tried to whiff the air again, but it smelled of nothing.

"I could have sworn I smelled smoke."

The Birdo seemed alert now. "I smelt it, too! It left so quickly, I thought I was crazy!" Annabelle and Robert, however, seemed as lost as the odor.

"I could smell nothing," the Shy Guy proclaimed loudly. Annabelle Lee nodded right next to him.

"Perhaps," started Lenore coldly, "it's because of that mask you are wearing!" The cloaked man seemed highly offended.

"I smelled nothing either," the Toad mumbled quietly. I looked around me, trying to see traces of the familiar gray fog that signaled a fire, but nothing. The air was as clear as an empty glass.

"Forget it," Robert sighed dismissively. "It's just a hallucination." He continued trekking forward, and the group was herded onwards towards the dock. The air felt strangely warm as we approached it, and the sky was full of clouds blocking the sun.

The most shocking thing about the dock was perhaps that there was a whale not in the water, but outside it, next to a neat row of houses. Looking upwards, trying to see over the whale, I saw instead smoky-looking, gray cumulus clouds overhead. The clouds looked odd, not like normal cumulus clouds…

We all walked forward, and Robert started to talk to the whale, "If you could excuse my insolence, but I would like it if I were granted authorization to pass-"

The whale suddenly jumped into the water, sending a gigantic wave of water rolling towards whatever the whale was previously obscuring. It could not be seen through the thick, moving aquatic barrier, and it collapsed on top of something. We all waddled closer, past the whale in the water, to see what it was.

It's crackling, burning sound identified it long before the water evaporated in the intense heat to reveal what it was.


	11. You make me LAUCH

"Fire!!" screeched Lenore, and started to run away. Annabelle Lee and Robert cringed, frozen to the ground out of the fear and panic that now controlled their bodies and thoughts.

A very wet, scaly thing was shot at us and towards the flames. It was revealed to be Lenore, getting up, soaking wet, very near the flames. The Shy Guy and Toad were tripping out as the hellish inferno danced dangerously close around them.

"SOMETHING SHOT WATER AT ME!" yelled Lenore painfully, and indeed, through a hole in the flames, I saw some yellow-lipped, fuzzy blue thing shooting jets of water at the flames. It put out many of the flames, but more soon ran over to where the old ones stood previously, jiggling perilously high.

A deep, odd singing noise boomed over the sound of the hissing of the flare: the song of the whale. It landed in the water, from what I could hear, and over the flames, yet another fence of water rolled towards us…

The wave did two things: one, it caught Robert, Annabelle and Lenore and swept them away from the flames, and extinguished others. On the other hand, it did not even let a single drop of water fall on me, and flames soon bounded to close the gap made by the water. In other words, I was surrounded, the ring of flames surrounding me. I tried to concentrate my fire powers to move the fire away, but failed, and saw no sign of comfort. I sank into the shadows, but I could see the underside of the blaze still snaking about underground, and the heat was still felt. I got up, trapped, and looked around for a miracle.

It came in the form of a small, quaint yellow house which, whenever flames roared near it, suddenly decided the house was not nice to burn and went back to melting something else. Could this be the indestructible house of the Shy Guy Toy Box? I took the handle of the door, shook it desperately, and pulled on it, revealing the door was open.

I entered the small room. The wallpaper was pink, just as pale as the yellow outside the house. I recalled what I was told about a secret door. Feeling around the walls, I pushed in and something indented. I pushed again, and a panel in the wall flipped around. This must be the secret entrance he was talking about! Pushing again, this time I actually fell through into another room. The wallpaper was blue, with white floor molding of little flowers at its bottom. A pink toy box was in a corner of the room, with a yellow trampoline in front of it. I…jumped on this, and I'd go into the Toy Box? All right…I threw my weight onto the springboard, and it bounced me into an arc, straight for the box…which opened magically on its own, and I felt myself shrinking as I entered a multicolored world.

I landed rather painfully on my bottom, and as I got up, I got a chance to admire the landscape. There was a train station with a whimsical-looking train, Toy Blocks on the edges of the room, tracks which glowed many bright colors. The whole thing looked like something out of the mind of a 5 year old rather than a full-blown city…but it certainly was safe from the inferno boiling back up there! Perhaps I could make use of my ticket here, just to pass the time while the flames die away…

A Blue Shy Guy strolled right up to me.

"Ticket, please?" he demanded.

"Uh, here, lemme get it." I fumbled around in my hat for it, but I pulled out the DS, opened the letter, and showed it to the Blue Guard. He squinted, but nodded.

"That says you can get a free guide to this place. Do you want one?" he queried. I thought about it. Well, if it was free…

"Sure, why not?" I shrugged. He nodded, and whistled sharply. "WATT! GET OVER HERE!"

"Uh, I'm co-coming!" A small, yellow orb appeared out of nowhere on command, and then stopped in front of me on command. Electricity crackled around her, as well as 5 large Sparks that kept on fading away from view that orbited around her. Her mouth appeared to be a rubber, light blue pacifier, as it moved each time she spoke: "Am I going to be your guide?"

"Yes, you are," said the Guard with authority. "Show her everything you can. Make sure no one attacks her. ARE WE CLEAR?"

"Y-y-yes!" she stumbled, using two of the Sparks around her as hands, making a sort of salute towards the Blue Guard. He nodded and walked away.

"Hello, and Welcome to Shy Guy's Toy Box!" the flying ball of electrical energy greeted. "I am Watt, and I'll be your guide today."

"Will the tour be long?" I asked of her.

"Umm…this place is pretty big, so yeah. Why?" she asked.

"Well, my ticket to here will expire tomorrow, so I think it would be best to do a quick tour," I suggested. Watt bounced up and down.

"Sure, I-I can show you the best stuff today!" she sang. "Ok, let's go to the train first. We need to show you the historical stuff first."

We went to the station and I saw the train: a small, carriage-like thing with a large mushroom top and little handles at its sides colored red and white like the top. We got in, and so did the Toad near here.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked in a nasally voice to Watt, turning to her.

"Red Station, please," she pleaded. The Conductor nodded. "HEY BOB!" he asked to the Blue Shy Guy outside. "HIT THE RED SWITCH!"

There were two switches outside the station, one had an arrow pointing left and another one pointing right. None were Red, but he hit the left one anyway. The Train suddenly started to chug, and made various mechanical, Train-related noises as it slowly started to go to the left. As the pace picked up, I saw that this place was very vibrant and radiant in terms of colors. The tracks resembled a colored Xylophone, and Jack-in-the-boxes were visible everywhere. I could see Shy Guys working as we neared our destination. Watt explained, "They're refurnishing. See, some time ago, this guy, Mario came, and he sort of had to search through here…this is the result of heavy searching for a Star."

"Mario?" I asked. "Seriously? I traveled with him once!"

"Me too!" Watt said excitedly. "Oh my gosh, he saved me from the big Lantern G-, well, I'll tell you when we arrive." The Toy Train came to a halt and we disembarked. The area around looked almost like the one we were in a while ago, except…busier. Tiny little men in different colors of robes were rushing around, transporting boxes to each other.

"Ok, let's go this way," the ball of light said as she took a path that led to the left. Traveling through a narrow hallway, at the end was a green bush. I was about to inspect it when what looked like a Black Shy Guy, but with a White Mask, showed up out of the bush at random.

"Who are you and what do you want?" he asked defensively, bearing a slingshot loaded with a tough looking ball.

"She's on tour with me," explained Watt. "Move aside." The thing ducked back inside the very conspicuous bush, allowing us to pass, and so we did.

"And that was…?" I queried to Watt.

"That's a Stealth Guy," she shrugged. "Placed there for security measures. You don't want people wandering about without a ticket apparently. According to General Guy, it's 'very dangerous'."

"General Guy?"

"Military Leader and basically the head of Shy Guy's Toy Box. His army was defeated once by, well, Mario, and in order to 'up their security', they made it so you need a ticket to go here."

"It resembles more of a plot to keep people from coming rather than to defend this place," I offered. Watt sighed.

"Our traffic has decreased so much ever since a horde of Shy guys wreaked havoc on poor Toad Town… no wants to visit, so no one has a ticket."

The next room was somehow busier than the Train Station we had just disembarked. Platforms were floating up and down, leading to different places, which Shy Guys boarded in order to put the boxes where they belonged.

I noticed a box with a smiley face on it. "What's in there?" I asked as I approached it. Watt didn't notice what I was doing until I jumped on the box, when she adopted an expression of pure terror as suddenly a spring burst out of the box, lifting the lid off and sending me flying into the air. Screaming in terror, everything became a blur, and I started to recall the moments of my life…but was cut short when I fell straight into the floor.

"Oh!" Watt hovered up behind me. Turning around, I could see in her face she was nervous. "A-a-are you alright?"

"Sure, yeah," I assured her, getting up. "What was that?"

"Jack-in-the-box travel," she shrugged. "Nothing special, you just need good aim."

"Move ov-AHHHH!" I suddenly felt somethign very hot and painful on my back and I shrieked. People looked at me, but I needed to get the fire off me. I twisted and turned, then I recalled what I had learned once: Stop, Drop, and Roll. I stopped what I was doing, Dropped, and then Rolled like I had never rolled before. The Flames went out quickly, but the pain endured. Looking back, the burning I had didn't seem so bad, but were still quite hurtful.

"Who did that?!" I demanded as the images of the flames in Toad Town became fresh in my mind again. I whipped around and pointed at Watt accusingly. "Was it YOU?!"

"No, i-it was me," said another voice. I looked to see who, or rather, what it was, and I saw a strange sight: A burning mass, right there, with feet and a mask. It looked a Shy Guy set ablaze.

"I fell over…I'm kind of clumsy…cause fires sometimes," he said ashamedly. I couldn't help but agree, he had frightened me to near death! Before I could tell him any offensive thoughts hanging in my head, Watt impeded the future fight by throwing herself in the middle.

"Well, um, you should have been careful there, Fernando. Fernando, apologize to the guest. Vivian, forgive the Pyro Guy."

"Why should I apolo-" Watt gave me a nasty shock by stabbing me with one of the Sparks flying about her. "I mean, it's ok you fell on me Fernando…and caused second-degree burns…and put me in a state of horrible pain and suffer-"

Watt pushed me away from the scene and into a dark room. Being a floating orb of electricity, the room was brightened immediately, but still dim compared to the outside. There appeared of be nothing of interest here.

"Uh, Watt?"

"Yeeees?" she asked.

"What exactly is here…that's important? This looks like just a dark room."

The Sparky was flabbergasted. "Wha-how- JUST A DARK ROOM? I'll have you know, this was the very whereabouts of the Big Lantern Ghost who trapped me in his big lantern and kept me here to provide a little light for him! You don't call that important?!"

"I-I-I'm sorry!" I said. "I had no idea! Perhaps you should have told me sooner?" I suggested derisively. She gave me a mean glare.

"I was rescued by Mario here!" she reminded me, pacifier shaking furiously. "Well, since this BORING old place is so…mind-numbing to you, let's go somewhere more exciting." She floated away, mumbling to herself. I followed her, careful to avoid Fernando the Pyro Guy. We arrived back at the Red Station, but this time she led us to the right path. Before we went down it, she told me:

"Be careful. Security will be increased in this room. You don't want to be…well, stoned here by the Stealth Guys. Not fun. So, stay close, and don't touch anything." I pursued her, going down the path. I saw a whole bunch of toy blocks in this room, and soon, I saw a huge barricade constructed out of orange, pick, red and blue blocks of different geometrical shapes. Watt stood before it, looking upwards.

"Can I pass? I have a guest, they're on the tour, I'm Watt, official guide, you know me…"

A Stealth Guy appeared over the edge. He muttered something to another Stealth Guy, and they moved the building blocks apart to let us through. I was aware of the increased security in the room, as all eyes where on us…

I did nothing. Not even when a Red Shy Guy circled us, as if though ready to attack, or when Shy guys traveling by Balloons hovered closely behind me, breathing on my back, annoying me to no end. Soon, we came to another room. This one was dark like the other one, but Watt was able to lighten up the room. I could see a squad of Shy Guys scurrying around. Once they saw us, however, they started screaming. It was such an annoying, irritated sound, so when they left through a hole in the wall, I was so thankful.

"Why do they scream like that?" I asked Watt. She looked confounded.

"I don't know…I don't know…I guess to alert General Guy of something. They've never been useful for much…no idea what their purpose is. But come. The Military Training Unit is this way." She led me through the hole in the wall.

"FIRE!" A bunch of Shy Guys started shooting at a wall, thankfully not ours. Many had really bad aim and just shot up and down while others could shoot the same place over and over again. They were pretty handy with a Gun, especially the Stealth Guys, who were actually able to shoot from a bush. When some of them realized we had entered, it spread like an infectious disease and everyone stopped using their weapons. Standing beneath a little arch was a white Shy Guy, wearing a badge and a white Sailor Hat.

"Who are you, and why do you wish to interrupt the Training Session?" he commanded, pointing at us.

"Why doesn't anybody know me?" Watt said to herself. "It's me. Watt. I'm a guide, guiding this person here-"

"Vivian."

"Through this place. She's getting the quick tour."

"Oh really?" asked General Guy.

"Yeah, really willy."

"No way!"

"Yes, so can you guys just look dramatic while I tell the story of this place?" Watt interrupted the flow of odd internet inside jokes. General Guy looked around.

"You heard her! LOOK DRAMATIC!" He got out a large, pink (you heard me right, pink) Toy Tank with a light bulb and a green cockpit. Various Shy Guys and Stealth Guys started to hold their guns towards each other, trying to look as realistic as possible.

"Ok, Vivian. That," she pointed with one of her sparks towards the White Shy Guy in the Tank, posing, "is General Guy. He's the big cheese here. So, the army of this place has NEVER been defeated. Not until…Mario came, of course." Various Shy Guys suddenly took a break from their acts of tragedy to mumble among them and talk angrily.

"Anyways, he…pretty much whooped the army. But we put a really good fight," Watt added at the last minute to avoid having General Guy throw a large, blunt object at her. "This is where one of the Stars Mario had to rescue once was held. We fought valiantly…and lost with grace and elegance. So we have increased our security which is why we have Stealth Guys at every Corner. So, we are very well trained and our experts can handle machinery quite well-"

"HELP I'M SHOT I'M BLEEDING OH HELP ME!"


	12. The MediGuy's Flying Saucer Thing

a yellow Shy Guy, sprawled on the floor with red tainting his yellow robes. Some of the Shy Guys crowded around him before General guy shouted "Get the Medi Guys!"

A white Shy Guy in a white Saucer came floating in. People sent screams of rejoice into the air upon seeing the pink heart imprinted on the Saucer.

"What's wrong?" the Medi Guy inquired.

"GOT SHOT I'M BLEEDING HELP S.O.S!" The Medi Guy started to circle his saucer around the Shy Guy until he was so fast, he was just a blur. When he stopped, the Yellow Shy Guy was perfectly fine. He got up, screeching "OH MY GOODNESS LIKE THANK YOU YOU SAVED MY LIFE REALLY!"

The Medi Guy just flew away, with the Yellow Shy Guy chasing behind him hopelessly. I looked around. It seemed that tensions were high right now. Watt could tell, too. So she finished up with "And that's how awesome our Military is! Let's go look at the Slot Machines!"

With that, we dashed off very quickly to avoid any complications. "Let's get back to the red station," she suggested, and I couldn't agree more.

"Did you really travel with Mario?" I asked her as we passed the dark room.

"Yup…I helped him get back the missing Stars. Did YOU ever travel with Mario?"

"Yes I did. I helped him get the Crystal Stars."

"Wow…we both have something in common," she squealed in happiness as we arrived at the Red Station. We boarded the Carriage.

"Where to now, Watt?" the Toad conductor questioned.

"Pink Station."

"PINK STATION! Beep beep, beep beep yeah!" he yelped. A red Shy Guy pressed a Switch with Arrows flowing to the left. Once more, the train started to pick up speed. We rapidly passed the green station and went to the Pink Station in its stead. We got off quickly and Watt told me to follow her.

"It's really fun, trust me!" she said as she ran down the path to the right. I tagged behind.

We arrived in a room with …moving sidewalks. That's right, yellow moving sidewalks with…red arrows on them and a fence in the middle! How fun!

"Watt, there's a fence in the middle, and the moving sidewalks lead right into them," I informed her. She seemed pretty nonchalant about that fact, however.

"We call them movalators here," she told me. "The one that leads towards the fence is shut down. We had an accident last year…really nasty…" She winced, apparently at the memory. "Those screams…I hear them sometimes in the distant corners of my mind….eeh…"

"Well," she perked up, "Get on the movalator!" she demanded. I cautiously got on one, and it sped me forward. For a mere movalator, it dashed rapidly! I tried not to fall down and balance, but it was difficult. At the end, I got off rather quickly. The orb of light, however, jumped up and down in joy.

"Look! The slot machine!" she said in joy as she came face to face with a giant, red slot machine. She looked expectantly at me. "Pull the handle!" I looked up. There was a giant handle…three images were displayed on the machine: a Shy Guy, a Mushroom, and a Star. I pulled the handle, and these images changed. Scrolling down and down and down, until I pulled it back up and it stopped on…a Fire Flower in which Watt cheered, a Shy Guy to which she booed, and another Shy Guy to which she booed again. A flower and the two Shy Guys suddenly popped out of the casino apparatus, the Shy Guys looking confused.

"Ugh! Not two Shy Guys!" she grunted. "Hold on, let me take care of them." She drifted in place, sparkling and crackling evermore violently until she was fully charged up, and dashed into one of the Shy Guys. They squeaked, and the one that was almost electrified ran away.

"Your turn. Take the remaining one out and claim your Fire Flower!" I looked at the Red Shy Guy, who appeared to be praying for mercy. I couldn't fight him…maybe I could scare him off. Then no one got hurt. I lit my finger on fire and pointed it at him. Shrieking, he ran away, leaving only a Tulip with violently red petals behind.

"That was great!" Watt congratulated, although she sounded somewhat disappointed. I took the Fire Flower, careful not to touch the petals. When the plant blossomed, it would let out some pretty big fire… rather not have that. I stuffed it in my hat, saving it for later.

"Alright, t-t-to the Movalators again!" the Sparky announced. I shuddered inwardly as I was forced onto the moving strip of land. "You know," Watt told me, "most of this place runs on electricity. If there were a power outage here, then you couldn't just go through passages. They'd be blocked because this place is supposed to have an unlimited power supply, so it's assumed that outages would be acts of sabotage and not just problems that happen usually. All the passages get blocked with mechanical doors. It's chaos when it happens…"

"This movalator is chaos," I gasped as I scrambled to get off. "I swear, I feel so sick…"

Back to the pink station we went. Mounting the carriage for yet another time, Watt told the man to go "back to the Blue Station, please."

"Hey! Blue Station!"

"BLUE STATION! AWESOME!" The Pink Shy Guy stepped on a Switch, and the train started to chug, letting steam out of somewhere. I could see no vent as we traveled along the colorful tracks. We got back to where we started; I could see a little Springboard and Bob the Blue Shy Guy Guard.

"Come here, this is the best part, honestly. You don't even get dizzy!" We went down the left path this time, down a wide hallway. It was appeared to be empty, when suddenly…

"Dance! While the music still goes on!" A Shy Guy dressed in odd, colored costumes started to appear and shake his butt as us. I was utterly disturbed.

"Watt, get that thing away!" I squealed as it did a pirouette. She nodded, and started to gather up electricity. Meanwhile, he did a grand jete, leaping over large amounts of air. Then Watt tackled him and he was sent packing towards the Station.

"What was that creepy thing?!" I asked her desperately.

"Groove Guys…very, very disturbed Dancers. Honestly, e-e-even I get scared by them, and I'm a guide. Their movements arte so jerky, so…blech. But follow me."

We continued to go down the passage until we arrived at a grand, wonderful playroom. Shy Guys were scattering about everywhere, some played with a large abacus, others rode on Rocking Horses, and still others drank tea at their tables. Some climbed on blocks and threw themselves off, others ate and ate. It was such a cute, innocent scene…

"This is the Shy Guy Playroom. Enjoy yourself, I have to go back to the Blue Station to see if anyone else is going to come…not like they're going to, anyways, but then again… I didn't expect you. Well, good-bye, Vivian-"

"Wait!" I said dramatically. "Do you have an E-Mail or Phone Number?"

"Both, really. Want to know them?"

I took out my Nintendo DS and opened my contacts list, adding Watt and preparing to edit the information. "Yes."

"E-Mail is phone number is…well, let me do it. I remember better when I type." She managed to hold the DS with her Sparks without completely frying the System. She jabbed it a few times, but when I go it back, I saw her number printed on it. "What's your E-Mail and Phone Number?" she queried.

"Phone number…um…" I recited a number that I was surprised I could even remember. "Aren't you going to write that down?" I asked her.

"Nah, I can memorize it. I have a really good memory, see? Well, I have to go…bye-bee." With that, she wafted away. "Oh, and talk to the Shy Guys. They don't bite," she reminded me.

"Mmm?" I looked down to see something blue looking up at me and making humming noises. From the white mask, I could tell it was a Shy Guy.

"What do you want?" I asked warily. He pulled a tray of cookies from behind his back.

"Want a cookie?"

"Sure!" I took one of the brown circles and started to eat it. Mmm, chocolate chip…mmm, that melt in your mouth sensation. "Can I have another?" I questioned when I realized I had eaten the cookie. He nodded and I took another…but then, before eating it, I took one more, 'just in case'. I ate the second one…then stuffed the third one into my mouth. I tried to reach for another one of the taste sensations, but the Shy Guy pulled the tray away.

"No more cookies for you," he muttered under his breath. Another Shy Guy, this time a red one, walked up to me.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked nicely.

"Sure…what do you have?"

"We have Water, we have Tea, we have Lemonade, we have Milk, we have Coffee…"

"Lemonade, please."

"Ok, then, coming," he said. He turned around and talked to some Yellow Shy Guys, who went to what looked like the world's biggest Soda Fountain. They jumped on a huge button that said 'CUP', and a Cup appeared right next to them. They took the Cup, which was totally normal in size, and placed it under a long tube. They hit another button that read 'ICE', and the machine started to rumble uncertainly. I stepped back, cautious, but in the end, some ice cubes slid down the transparent tube and into the Cup. Then they passed a bunch of other tubes, until they found what appeared to be the right one. They bounced on a button that said 'LEMONADE' and the yellow liquid poured freely down the tube and into my cup. Like most people, I was wishing that lemonade really didn't look like pee at the moment.

When they finished, they gave me the lemonade. "Here you go!" said a yellow Shy Guy happily as he gave me the cup. "Want something else?"

"…Um…I guess…"

"Fine have a cake!" he said as he pulled away a Green Shy Guy and took the cake he was holding and gave it to me. "Anything in addition?"

"…Er-"

"Ok! Here is some more cake!" He tripped another Shy Guy of the green color and stole his cake and gave it to me. I looked carefully at the cakes. Both had pink frosting with a little Strawberry imbedded into it. The cake itself was yellow, a sign of no chocolate. I picked up the cake by the back, accidentally smearing my gloves with pink, and took a bite into it…

The cake was nice, had a soft, lofty Strawberry taste to it, but was too dry for my liking. The texture was its only problem, as I tried to lick my gloves to get the pink icing off. As I finished my first cake, I noticed that a group of Shy guys were leaving rather quickly. Ah well. I devoured the second cake eagerly, ignoring the hushed whispers around me and the darting of feet. To wash away that taste that lingers in your throat after eating food, I drank the lemonade. It tasted…just like lemonade.

As I got up to thank the Shy Guys for the service, I found no one there. The lights, however, were flickering. The Soda Fountain looked as if though it was having trouble staying on. Worried, I tried to head for the passage, but was cut off by a mechanical door that just appeared out of nowhere, in order to hinder my passage. Suddenly, the lights went out, and darkness gripped the playroom like the claw of a tiger. I was desperate for a way out, and decided to try and sink into the ground when I saw something that stopped me. It was two familiar red eyes. The rest of the creature was hidden by the darkness, but I could tell who it was.

It was that guy.


	13. 8Bit Club?

Perhaps he couldn't see me, I thought hopefully. I would probably make too much noise or look too odd if I go into the shadows now, so I'll just stay here, totally still, and he won't notice me…

"Hello, Vivian."

And I thought too soon.

"Nice day, isn't it?" He spoke as if though unaware of the circumstances, oblivious that I was just standing here, frightened to death, trapped in a powerless room with him. "Stop doing that. I know you're here. I knew you were going to be here."

"What?" I asked bewildered. "How could you have known?"

"With very clever planning is how I could have known. It required some financial loss, but 'twas a small sacrifice. The result was that I knew exactly when and where you were going to be."

"How were you here in the first place? Last time I saw you, you were in Fahr Outpost," I asked, stalling for time. The door was closed, undoubtedly, but if I could get close enough, maybe I could use my fire skills to burn a hole through it…

"What part of clever planning do you not understand?" he snapped, irritated. "Well, at least it paid off. I accomplished my goal." I felt for the wall…

"Did you start that fire?" I questioned as I moved a bit closer to something.

"Admittedly, no. I 'respect' fire. However, I was lucky that it started, considering that it got you here alone, without anybody following you. It was a rather nice…what do they call it…serendipity. Right?"

Tossing a quick glance at him, from what I could see, he seemed expectant.

"Are you ignoring me?" he asked randomly. "Ignoring me is what made this happen, you know."

I felt a twinge of guilt as the image of the unanswered letters he sent to me popped in my mind. I felt a smooth, metal surface…this must be the door.

To light the way, I made a small flame in the palm of my mind. The room lightened up a bit, but not much other than that…I could see him standing there, no longer just a pair of red eyes (his name is Doopliss, buy the way). Like always, he was draped in a white cloak, absolutely no part of his normal body showing, except his eyes, red on black. Like a cat, he had a split upper lip, which I could only imagine posed some speech problems for him. For some reason, he had one of those blue party hats on his head and always wore a blue ribbon. Not much had changed…but he looked as if though he had gone through some tough times. The edges of his sheet looked torn, and the party hat looked faded away and old. Certainly, stalking me had no been an easy task.

"Do you think that I don't exist?" he questioned exasperatedly. I ignored him. "For carp's sake, QUIT IGNORING ME!!!" he screeched lividly while overusing exclamation points. Suddenly, he disappeared in a puff of purple smoke. I looked out for a tell-tale sign of a green glow that give me a hint of what he was going to transform into, since he had to make a purple cloud appear and then a green glow cover what he was going to transform into., However, there was no green glow. When the purple fog dissipated, all I saw was a Black Shy Guy standing there. I dismissed it as a Stealth Guy, only I found it odd he had a black mask rather than a white, and no slingshot or weapon…

This fight would be over easily. I enlarged the fire in my hand to the size of a baseball, and launched it towards Doopliss. However, in his Shy Guy disguise, he easily dodged it, leaving some tiny flames flickering, scattered like driftwood on a beach.

"That was a fluke," I assured him as I made another small meteor and threw it in a curve towards the Shy Guy. Right before it reached him, however, it changed color to blue and split around him! The separate trails of flames created met and circled around him, when, at the raise of his hand, the blue flames hovered above it. Lowering it quickly, the flame rode towards me, undulating like a mad snake. When it reached me, I was still somewhat in pain from the Pyro Guy burn, so these new, blue flames only intensified it. I struggled to put it out, until I managed to lead it away from me and into a sphere of burning mass, floating threateningly near the door. He realized what I was going to do, and approached the door. Using most of my energy, I slammed the ball of fire into the door…but apparently, also the black Shy Guy as he had thrown himself in the way and was yelling in pain. Fortunately, I managed to burn a hole through the door, and I crawled away, leaving the Duplighost in disguise on the floor, glaring at me odiously.

Down the long, wide hallway again, but this time without the aid of light. The door at the end was still closed, however. Some orange figure was hovering near it, but I had to get out at any costs. I would have to take my chance with the small figure…I created another fireball, and launched it quickly down the passage. Thankfully, the small, floating figure was able to dodge my blow, but this door was not phased by the flame…darn. The silhouette came up to me, and then I saw who it was…

It was Watt!

"Vivian, w-w-what's the big deal just throwing fireballs all over the place?" the Sparky asked madly. "The power went out! We should have switched to Emergency Power some time ago…"

With that, some panels on the floor suddenly started to glow orange, providing light for the room. A voice boomed over an intercom, none other than general Guy's: "Attention, citizens and guests of Shy Guy's Toy Box! The power has gone out! We have switched to Emergency Power now. Do NOT use anything based on electricity, when we get the power back, we don't want our movalators and slots to be malfunctioning. We are working hard to find out what caused the power to go out. Thank you, this is General Guy."

"Watt, I really need to get out," I said agitatedly. "There is a guy who's been stalking me over there, in that room, he's been stalking me for some time now, but really, I can't let him get me, I don't know what he wants, it's like I'm under attack, and he turned into a black Shy Guy, and I couldn't hurt him, but I temporarily put him out and burned through the door to get out but then this-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it there," Watt interrupted. "Did you say 'Black Shy Guy'? Did he have a black mask?"

"Yeah, I thought he was a Stealth Guy, but then he did this thing and I couldn't hurt him and then…"

"That was no Stealth Guy that was an Anti Guy!" warned Watt with surprise and worry in her voice.

"An Anti Guy?" I asked in confusion. I couldn't understand the look of fear on Watt's face as her eyes darted about. "What's the big deal?"

"We generally don't tell people this, but Anti Guys were some of Bowser's supporters. Yes, those big bad guys. They're really, really bad…they are skilled in both Magic; like being able to block attacks or use them against you, and they are also talented physically, which is why they are such good acrobats. I wouldn't count on him being down for a long amount of time…"

With that, a very charred Anti Guy walked through the hole in the wall. He was limping badly, however and did not look like he was in a state to be doing those amazing acrobatic tricks that Watt described. However, he was able to muster enough vigor to launch him at us. I was knocked down, as well as Watt, but he let out a yelp when he came in contact with her.

Wait…Watt cant shock people who touch her…that hurts…I just had a stroke of genius.

"Watt," I turned to her. "I just had an idea. If you can, try to stick to him and really shock him, and eventually, he'll run out of stamina and then he'll revert to his normal form, which will be cake."

"A-a-a-alright, I'll try," she said, not too keen on taking on an Anti Guy Imposter. With that, she dashed into him and only managed to give a weak shock. He turned around and grabbed her. The perfect opportunity for her to deliver a nasty jolt. She pumped loads of lightning into him. He was severely weakened by that really nasty attack, but not enough. I delivered the finishing blow by lighting my fist on fire and then giving him a good punch. He started to cough and let go of Watt, then a cloud of purple smoke appeared to cover him. We backed up a bit, Watt slightly closer to the unbroken door.

"See? See? I told you!" he snarled in his normal form when the cloud started to fade away. "You only ignore me!"

"We want you to leave!" Watt said defiantly. He glowered at her.

"I have wants, too. However, undoubtedly you've never thought about them. Have you? Please tell me an instance." No one spoke.

"Well there was that one time when I…gave you a bottle of pink jelly," I lied, trying to make something up.

"Pink Jelly? What are you on? You've never given me anything pink jelly-related," he recalled. "Are you ignoring those 'Don't do Drugs' campaigns?"

"No," I growled defensively. He leaned on the wall.

"But you still couldn't name an instance. Accept it, you acted really egocentric with those letters, and quite honestly, it hurt. A lot," he said in an injured manner.

I threw a fleeting look at Watt, and discovered she was trying to break through the door silently. She had made a little progress, but not enough to go through the wall. More time necessary.

"How do you find me in the first place?" He hesitated.

"Why," he started,"should I tell you?"

I put on my best cute face and looked naïve. "Because if you don't, then you'll be ignoring me," I said coyly. He didn't seem convinced. I then added, a sly look on my face, "Oh, come on. Give me a break, will you?"

The shy look on his face told me he fell for my coquettish trick. "I thought it was obvious…simple stuff, public records, and then…carp." He realized what he had just said and shot me a look of great scorn. Looking to the side, he noticed something, and then sped away somewhere. I went to chase after him before I felt a jolt of electricity chase through me. Turning around, I saw the familiar sparkle of Watt, along with Bob the Security Guard and another Toad.


	14. Raised by a cup of Coffee

"Alright, missy, where's your 'evil stalker dude'?" said the Toad mockingly, waving his hands around before being hit by the blue shy guy's elbow.

"He…he was here just a minute ago!" Watt yelped, looking around urgently. Turning to me desperately, she asked "Vivian, there was a Duplighost here a few seconds ago, right?"

"Yeah there was-" I confirmed, but both guards both into laughter.

"Oh, really…yeah…hilarious…." The Toad said between spasms of laughter. "What was……it you saw….a….a Duplighost?"

"Those live in Crystal……Palace and thank gosh……they don't come down……..oh the odds of them leaving and being here are what? Very slim," Bob notified us.

"But-but he was in disguise! An Anti Guy!" I said desperately.

"Yeah! We have one witness here!" Watts said supportively. Both guards looked at each other and looked serious. They looked at me solemnly.

"You know…one is the loneliest number that you'll ever see," said the Toad, quoting the famous song. "One witness won't convince us."

"Also, we don't have Anti Guys. A Duplighost needs physical evidence, be it a drawing, picture, or memory of the creature. Since they never leave the Crystal Palace, what are the odds that one of them could see an Anti Guy to turn into?"

"Uh…I…you never believe me…" The Sparky gave up. She shook her head and floated away. I followed her to the Blue Station. The power was still out, so everything was cast in an orange glow.

"Watt, what was up with that?" I asked her. She looked livid, the electricity becoming more of a red color rather than yellow.

"I swear, some people here are prejudiced against me! Just because I traveled with Mario…they think I lie to them or something."

"Why don't you leave this place, then?" I suggested. "Since people here are such bigots…"

"I just can't resist the strange attraction from this giant dynamo," she admitted. "There is time to breathe and relax and also time to live and enjoy life. Besides, some people here treat me like an equal…"

"Mhm…but…how can I…you know, be safe?" I asked Watt. She adopted a thinking expression for quite some time, until at last she came up with reasonable advice:

"Well, unfamiliar with this place, right? I think for some time, you might be safe."

"He said he found me also through Public Records," I offered.

The ball of lightning suggested, "Register under a different name! That way he can't find you!"

I thought about that…he DID search through public records…if he couldn't find my name, then he was screwed. "That, Watt, is a great idea."

"Thank you," she said cheerily.

"I have to go now, though," I alerted. "Well, goodbye…"

"Goodbye, and good luck with the situation," Watt nodded. I jumped on the springboard…and I started to travel at the speed of light…everything was a blur now…

BOOM!

I shot out of the Toy Box with immense speed, landing on the wooden floor. Getting up, I quickly went through the secret exit and out of the yellow house when I bumped into something pink.

"Uff! Uh, sorry I bumped into you, Vivian. I was looking for you! We had no idea where you were!" She seemed excited to find her. I, on the other hand, was still totally scared from what had happened.

"I…I…went..Shy…Toy Box…thing."

"You just visited Shy Guy Toy Box? You seem worried; something happen?"

I nodded tiredly. "It was…this…and the outage…" I couldn't piece any words together to form a sentence that carried my idea. Lenore cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"Erm, perhaps we better discuss this at another place," she recommended, noticing my absolute nervous being. "How about we talk about this seriously at Club 64?"

"No idea what that is…but sure," I said in an attempt to keep myself down. We started to walk towards the Town Plaza. The sky was fairly clear, but gray clouds were still coating its blue glory.

"Nice weather today, isn't it?" Lenore said suddenly. Her O-shaped, snout-like mouth was pointing towards the sky. "Heard it will rain a bit later on…" I knew that Lenore was desperate to talk. When people start blabbing on about weather, they just have no idea what to talk about. I decided to keep a possible conversation going.

"Seriously? That's a bummer. Fire and water aren't the best of friends…scratch that, they're not friends at all."

"To tell you the truth," Lenore confessed, "I don't take it either way. I don't jump with joy upon seeing the first raindrop, nor do I have a nervous breakdown when I see the gray clouds, although it was such a relief to see it after the fire. Annabelle was really relieved when it started to rain. She was worried about you. Me, not so much, because I knew that you were smart. I don't mind it. I think that Robert hates it, however. He was just saying, wait, let me paraphrase, 'The Rain sucks, I hate it'."

"He actually said that?" I exclaimed curtly. "I thought he would use words that would put a thesaurus to shame…something like, 'The precipitation afflicts me so thoroughly, how it pleasures me to observe the skies clear of their alarming billows,'" I said with a posh British Accent…no offense to the British that don't speak like that.

"That's why I said 'paraphrase', you actually nailed it on the head when it came to how many vocabulary words he uses," mocked Lenore. "Where does he learn it all? I imagine he must have gotten a fair amount of them from reading the vocabulary section of some SAT books, you know?"

"I can only imagine," I nodded. Lenore stopped walking, and I halted myself from going ahead. We were at the doorstep of some place called 'Club 64'. A neon sign hanging above the doorway read in a large, playful font 'CLUB 64: Now with 99 less Alcohol!', and it changed hues as well! Lenore completely ignored it and walked right into the club. I took one more admiring look at the special effects before following her.

Chanterelle, who we saw on the train yesterday, just happened to be training her vocal chords so they're above par. Two old Toads stood next to her, one reading her the lyrics, and another showing her the melody. She swept away her dark hair from her face as she sang the lines with varying pitches. However, we ignored her and just took a seat nearby.

"So, what was it that happened?" Lenore pressed.

"Once upon a time, there was this guy called Doopliss. Mario had to get pass him once while I was traveling with him…he literally stole his identity. Well, we met him a few more times, and after the whole adventure ordeal, he started to send me letters, asking things like, 'It's such a nice day. Would you like to visit so-&-so place?'. I didn't answer t hat, and so he has been stalking me," I said. "He followed me to Fahr Outpost and actually hurt someone there and stuff just to get to me. So I came here and then he showed up in Shy Guy's Toy Box. He said he was seriously wounded that I just ignored him like that. He was seriously mad, so he turned into this Anti Shy Guy thing and attacked me. I tricked him into telling me how he always found me, and he said official public records, then he escaped. And end of story."

"Whoa, wait up a minute; he turned into an Anti Guy?" Lenore said in amazement. "Those things are nearly nonexistent!"

"Yeah, this guy said that Duplighosts need some kind of Physical Evidence to turn into something, so where would he find anything Anti Guy related at all?"

We waited there for some time until at last a worrying thought occupied Lenore's face. "Vivian?"

"Yes?" I asked.

"Remember the Ninji we saw on the train? Who stole that kid's drawing?" Lenore reminded me. I recalled the scene as if though it happened right now…

"…Yes…I saw it, the picture," I said uncertainly.

"What was on that picture?" Lenore pushed on. I tried to remember the cute, little scribble.

"A black…shy guy…" I realized what she was getting on to. "You don't think that…"

"I think that the Ninji was that dude you talk about in disguise so he could find a weapon to attack you in case he needed to. Problem is, those letters you got…they asked you out, right?"

"If I recalled correctly, yes," I said as I cringed slightly in evoking those recollections.

"It seems odd that he would want to hurt you. Generally, when people ask others out, it's because they like each other. He didn't try to harm you at Fahr Outpost, did he?"

I shook my head. "Not at all. In fact, he attacked me only in an outrage, apparently, because I was ignoring what he was saying about me ignoring him. Ironic, isn't it?" I recognized. Lenore sighed.

"Sounds like the whole problem started with you not answering those letters. Perhaps you should apologize? To avoid his awesome Anti Guy-related wrath?"

"He has quite a temper, and he's pretty isolated from people. I'm sure he'll expect some kind of huge apology show thing just because of that little thing. I don't think it would work." Lenore banged her head on the desk.

"You are falling into a cliché! Don't be cliché! This is novel fodder, stuff that happens in stories! Don't be stupid and effing apologize, or may the Stars help me, I'll…" Lenore made a strangling motion with her hands. I pouted.

"It's my choice in the end," I persisted stubbornly.

"Fine," she spat. "But you're being stupid. Life is like a boomerang, though: everything you say returns to the sender. Yes, I ripped that off form a song…but it's meaningful. I hope you get off your high horse soon enough and actually listen to my advice." With that, she got up and stormed off. I looked at her in disdain before getting up myself and leaving Club 64.


	15. You can eat every part of a pig!

The Sky was so dark now; the clouds had succeeded in their goal of covering the sun. A flash, of lightning, and then, seconds later, thunder followed after. BANG!

Bullets of water fell from the sky now, pelting my skin. Looking upwards, I covered my face with my hat as the downpour intensified. Toads around were unprepared, running into buildings to relieve themselves from the sky's fury. I then recalled something: Chiaroscuro! My Li'l Oink! He couldn't be out in the Rain! He'd be…WET!

Running quickly towards the ranch, I saw most people had left, but the Red-spotted, Li'l Oink loving Toad was hiding beneath an umbrella, taking care of the pigs. "You'll be fine," he mumbled to the Tiger one. I leaned over the pen, looking for a white pig. A whole bunch of hogs ran towards me, but I identified my own, Chiaroscuro, and took the white little one out. I stroked him as the other pigs looked at me in sadness, but Chia was the only one I could take. I scampered towards the motel, hoping radically that they allow Pigs.

Upon entering, that freaky, psychedelic receptionist girl shows up. I can't let her make me leave Chia outside…not after all this work…I mean, taking a pig out of a pen is…really tough work and yeah I'm being lazy.

"Well, you have a Li'l Oink here…"

"Look, I don't have time to put him outside, and I don't want poor Chia to get inside. You will have to make an exception for him, he needs to dry off, won't you find it somewhere in your heart?"

"I was going to say we were out of food for pets, but that's fine," she said warmly as she allowed me, soaking wet, to enter my room with a Li'l Oink in my hands. Wow, this place was unrealistic.

Opening the door, I tossed Chiaroscuro in, and I collapsed on the bed. I WAS WET. AH. I tried to dry myself with my bed sheet. Well, it worked, but now my previously warm bed had water dripping off its mattress…

"Hey, Chia…how are you?" I ask this Pig. He shook his fur dry, like a dog, leaving the hairs on his body standing up, all fluffed out. Yay for fluffiness. He would look better if he was drier; however…I searched my hat for a brush, and pulled out a small, yellow one after some hard looking. I put Chia on my lap and brushed his fur so it would stay down, nice and slim. After some brushing, he was a bit drier, and shinier, too!

"You are such a cute little pig!" He snorted in return, pushing his snout everywhere. He looked at me with an unmistakable look on his face: starvation. I didn't have food at the moment, however…

"Sorry, but you're going to have to live with being a skinny pig for some time now," I said to him, who looked disappointed as he rolled on the ground. He looked through the window, which was being bombarded with raindrops. I patted his back.

"Don't worry, Roscuro of Chia, everything will be fine. It's just rain…right? Never mind that I hate the rain because I am a fire mage…but it's not scary at all to others! So don't cry or anything…" He did not cry at all, rather, he was looking excitedly at the blank TV Screen. I assumed that he wanted to watch something , so I reached for the remote, pressed the red button on the top, and watched an image fade into view. When the colors started to appear, the pig looked repulsed and burrowed his face beneath my wet sheets. I watched whatever was on, which was a commercial for Sweet LolliPops.

"Sr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the Sweet center of a Sweet LolliPop?" a little boy questioned a black-and-white owl.

"Let's find out: one, two-hoo, three!" He said, and one three, he ate the lollipop he was holding with a crunch and handed it back to the disappointed boy.

"How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Sweet LolliPop? The World shall never know," a mystery voice proclaimed.

After the commercial passed, another came. This one was caught my attention, and wasn't about owls eating lollipops either. It showed a video a girl playing with her red Li'l Oink with white polka dots.

"Oh, Polka, you're the best Li'l Oink ever!" exclaimed the little girl to her unoriginality named Li'l Oink. He sniffed the floor in response.

"I want to show you off to everybody! But how?" she moaned emotionally.

"I CAN SHOW YOU HOW!" said an ominous, booming voice.

"Who was that?" said the confused little girl, looking around for the source of that sound.

"No matter! I am the voice of light, and I know how to show your talented Little Oink to the world!"

"How?" the girl asked the voice.

"Just go to the Li'l Oink Field on Wednesday the 29th! There, you shall be judged in one area: the ever wonderful and lovable, original and fantastical talent portion."

"Talent portion?" cried the little girl. "But I don't have time to rain my pig! And there's only a day left to train him!"

"Don't worry," reassured the voice, "Li'l Oinks are notoriously fast learners! Just try, and you'll get something out of it!"

"What's the prize?" she asked warily.

"The chance," the voice started," to win 300 coins AND to go to the next division in Koopa Village!"

The girl gasped. Even the Li'l Oink looked surprised. "Wow!" Her vocabulary's extents were visible from the monosyllable response.

"That's right! Just enter! You have nothing to lose…except your dignity! Enter the Li'l Oink Competition on Wednesday the 29th, November 2006, at the Li'l Oink Ranch to have a chance to win!"

Another, much more superficial and slicker voice, started to announce some messages, "Li'l Oink Competition is property of 'We want your money Inc.' and should be treated with respect. We swear the judges are not biased and if you find them to be it's your fault so boo-hoo. 300 coins is actually very little due to inflation, but who cares? You can't sue us for harming your pig because you give us the rights to hit him with a hammer which is part of the defense portion of the talent portion. Many will enter, 1 will win. We don't believe in runner-up prizes, by the way."

The commercial ended with a girl holding her pig with a blue ribbon pinned on him. I looked at Chiaroscuro.

"We should enter that competition. Mainly because I'm bored and you need to lose weight." The little oink gave me an irritated look.

"But…not now," I said as I looked outside the window. "It's too late. Let's do some light training tomorrow and pray that the author of this story is kindhearted enough to make us win, ok? In other words, be really cool and do stuff, kay?" Chiaroscuro did not respond. He was curled up sleepily in my bed, wet sheets all around him. I sighed, put the pig on the floor, lay down on the bed, pushed away the sheets, and looked out the still raining window. It was going to be a long day tomorrow…

Mmm… I woke up looking at the ceiling. It was so cold… I got out of my bed and looked at Chia, who was curled up in the sheets warmly. I shook his with my long tail, and he groaned in reaction. I did it again, and this time, a rift opened in his eyes. He yawned and stretched as he got up, then sat on his behind.

"Alright, we're going to train you in a day to do many fabulous tricks!" I told him. He groaned and looked around. What did he want? Oh yeah, I hadn't fed him yesterday. Great. What do Li'l Oinks eat?

I got out of my room, and looking around the corner, I saw Lenore talking to Annabelle who was wearing sunglasses…

"Hey, there," I greeted. They seemed somewhat shocked to have me interrupt their discussion, but they nodded and responded just as well.

"Hi, Vivian," the Birdo said acerbically. "What'cha want?"

"Just a quick question: what can I feed Li'l Oinks, and where do I get it? See, I have one in my room, so as you can see it's a bit of a problem."

"Simply give them anything you have," shrugged Lenore. "What do you have?"

"That's the problem," I admitted ashamedly. "I myself am kind of hungry…" The reptile looked away haughtily.

"Well, I'd like to be able to help you," Lenore sighed, "but I don't have extra food to feed the both of yous. Sorry."

"That's TOTALLY a lie, Lenore," Annabelle revealed, taking off her black glasses. The pink reptile looked staggered. "You have loads of food and you begged them to put a fridge in your room. You showed it to me, c'mon, Vivian, I'll show it to you."

The Toad put her glasses back on and was about to walk away when Lenore intervened: "Fine, I'll show you." She led the way, talking to herself about something. I exchanged looks with Annabelle as we walked down the hall. I saw a room identical to mine upon her opening the door, the only difference was the wallpaper was neon green and there was a fridge in the corner.

I had to squint when I entered. Annabelle was already wearing her sunglasses, so she was at an advantage. The neon green was so bright, I wondered how Lenore slept in here.

"Gosh, did they use this room as a green screen filming place or something?" I complained as I bumped into the television.

"How should I know?" she said as she reached out for the fridge and pulled out some food: frozen hamburger meat, an apple, a carrot, and some more frozen hamburger meat. She handed it to me. "There, that should be enough. Warm the hamburger meat before serving it to them, please…trust me, they don't like really cold food, and that's been in the fridge for most of its pathetic life…"

"I'm going to enter mine in that competition tomorrow," I told her. "Anything you recommend?" Silence for a few moments.

"Are you serious?" asked Lenore excitedly. "Wow, I entered that contest some years ago when I was a kid, and got third place! THIRD place! Can you believe it?"

"Not at all…I mean, you probably should have gotten higher," I said to avoid any complications. She got up and snapped.

"I KNOW! The winner was some ugly guy with a ___ for a pig! Honestly, how that won the talent portion by burping confounds me to this very day…" She was on a roll now. "I remember it…it was a pink Li'l Oink, the most common. Barely had its hair brushed, those beady eyes, overweight, and it walked by ROLLING. Do you believe that ____? ARG! Why do the ____ing losers always win?! Damnit! ____! This is a ______ place to even accept that guy In the first place!!!!! ___!!!!!!!! _______!!!!!!!!!!" The amount of swear words she colored her vocabulary with increased radically, and I heard some I had not hear in a long time.

"…Little…and that's my story. So, if you are going to enter, you BETTER win! I want to give those judges a good what-for! REVENGE, dahlings, REVENGE!" she screamed.

"Lenore?" I queried in a worried tone. Some time passed before she answered.

"Well, yes?" she said after calming down a bit.

"The frozen hamburger meat is starting to defrost," I said just as a glob of something brown fell down on my tail, spreading over the bottom of it and pervading the air with a strange smell. "Are you sure this is hamburger meat?"

"It COULD be some old rocky road, not sure." She pondered the thought. "Well, either way, can I see you train your Li'l Oink? Perhaps I could help?" she suggested.

"Sure, why not? I have no idea about them anyways, so I'm probably doomed form the start, but whatever!" We got out of the green screen room and into my own. Upon opening the door, Chiaroscuro sped out.

"Hello, Chia!" I exclaimed as I picked him up. "Lot's of training today!" He yelped. We then went towards the first room with the receptionist counter.

"Hello, young souls!" said the scary woman again as she waved. "What are you working on?"

"We're…psychedelically influencing young minds…by spiting the power of 'the man'," said Annabelle Lee in a drug influenced voice like the receptionist.

"Just remember, they consider that to be illegal nowadays," she warned us. But she smiled rebelliously and continued, "But just keep going and fight the power! Yeah!" She raised her fist victoriously while we edged away, frightened.

Outside, I settled Chia on the ground. He looked around, and with good reason: everything was slippery and wet. He had never seen water before, and judging from my reaction to it, he probably thought it was the source of all evil or something.

"OK, some basic tricks are necessary to get some points," Lenore started, but then Annabelle Lee interrupted by screaming fondly "OH MY GOSH ISN'T IT LIKE ADORABLE?!?!?!?!!?!?" and then hugging Chia to the point of near-suffocation. A kick to her face ended any possible friendship between the two.

"You damned little…HOW DARE YOU!" hissed the Toad violently, causing Chiaroscuro to retort by spitting at her feet. Lenore held back Annabelle back from doing any possible harm to my Li'l Oink, which recoiled.

"Ok, as I said earlier before being interrupted," Lenore glared spitefully at Annabelle, "he should learn the basics first. Teach him to jump." I looked at the hog, which looked at me quizzically.

"Umm…jump." No response from the pig. Lenore slapped her head.

"You have to show him an example," she groaned. It's easy, that's all there is to it.

"Jump! Jump!" I said while bouncing in place. A look of enlightenment crossed the hog's face and he jumped up and down successfully. I was ecstatic. THIS was how you trained them? Boy, this would be easy!

"Roll over!" I commanded while doing so on the ground. He copied my every move. "Do a handstand!" I tried to do a handstand, and only barely succeeded. The Pig could do so, too.

"Alright, now you can get a little more creative," Lenore informed me. "Think of something."

What could a Li'l Oink do? Images of tamed lions came to my mind suddenly…tamed lions doing strange tricks…

Waving my hand in a circle pattern, a ring of flames appeared in midair. Annabelle cringed, as did Chiaroscuro. I looked at it carefully… "Jump through!" I detached my tail from the ground, passed through the hole in the middle, and landed on the other side, tail attached to my shadow again. When I looked at Chiaroscuro, he looked stunned. "Jump through!" I commandeered.

Carefully, he looked at the huge hoop of cackling flames…then, bravely, he took a running start, and lifted himself off, and made it through! For effect, I closed the ring just as he left, leaving only a firework-like explosion in its place. Chiaroscuro looked startled.

"Like that?" I asked Lenore. She looked impressed as she watched Chiaroscuro doggedly chase his tail.

"It's very nice," she admitted, but then took a more critical tone. "You need something more than that if you plan to win, however. Like, make him do some funky dance moves."

I shrugged. "Alright. Um…Chiaroscuro!" The Li'l oink turned to look at me. "Pirouette! Pirouette!" I started to twirl around, staring out of the corner of my eye to see if the hog was doing things correctly, but it was hard to see. I stopped and felt really dizzy…I tried to regain my composure, and succeeded. I commanded him to do a pirouette, but he only managed to walk around in a circle. Not what I was aiming for.

"No, not that!" I snapped at him. "A Pirouette! Like…like…"

"I'll do it," volunteered Lenore. She balanced one foot and started to spin around. I told the Li'l Oink 'Pirouette! Pirouette!' He tried to copy Lenore this time with more success. When he finished trying to do his ballet imitation, I redid a Pirouette, much quicker than the first one. He copied it effectively. I patted him on the head and gave him some of the sloppy hamburger meat.

"OH, here's an idea…jump into my hat!" I said as I pulled it off and held it out to him. "Jump into my hat!" the Li'l Oink was wary, but he did so. He was small enough and round enough not to cause bulges in my hat. However, I pushed him back a bit and he faded away. I placed the hat fancily on my pink hair.

"Where did Chia go?" Lenore asked impatiently.

"The effects of hammerspace, silly. I bought a hammer space and it's connected to my hat… now, watch me pull a Li'l Oink out of a witch's hat!" Taking off my hat, I reached in, searched around, and pulled a white mass of fur out. Lenore and Annabelle were very impressed.

"Give him more compensation," suggested the Toad. I took mopre of the now not-so-frozen hamburger meat and fed it to him.

"Are you sure this is safe?" I asked Lenore as he ate the thing up fastidiously, avoiding messing up his white fur.

"My old Li'l Oink was always fine, and he ate week-old food," she retorted. "Look, just feed him whatever. And teach him more original tricks."

"Like what? He's a PIG!"

"Improvise, silly, improvise!" she yelled, irritated. "Make him sing the National Anthem while balancing a cup of pudding on his head! Make him take a pair of underwear, put Pop-Tarts in them, and launch the Pop-Tarts into the upper stratosphere to end Global Warming! Make him fashion some neat boots out of leather he got from the rare Snake of doom thing!! I don't care what!!! YOU ARE GOING TO WIN THIS CONTEST! ARE WE CLEAR?!?!?"

"That's not a bad idea," I mused. I turned to Annabelle Lee. "Get me some pair of underwear and a box of Pop-Tarts right now!!"

"Wha…? Why?" she questioned in mystification.

"Just go somewhere and buy it~!" I argued as I pushed her.

"But what flavor of Pop-Tarts?" she asked, but I didn't respond because I gave her a shove and she ran for the supermarket… or… whatever there was in this weird place… Lenore raised an eyebrow.

"I wasn't being literal about the pop-tarts things, you know…"

"But it's just perfect!" I yelled. "PERFECT! It can be our secret weapon! How many Li'l Oinks, no, scratch that, ANIMALS can fling Pop-Tarts into the Upper Stratosphere with their underwear??"

"…Very little?" guessed the Birdo.

"EXACTLY!" I snapped in madness. "Can you believe it? It's pure genius! THANK YOU! YOU ARE THE VERY MEANING OF AWESOME!"

Lenore looked absolutely frightened of me now. "I thought I was ambitious…look, Vivian, clam down. Launching breakfast into the atmosphere won't stop Ozone Layer destruction…it might gain you points, but don't think that Chia here is going to be saving the world anytime soon."


End file.
